My self esteem plummets as I enter the room
Everyone's staring, everyone's vision is on zoom
I hope they don't notice the wet trail my tears have traced
I hope they can't see through my hair and to my face
If I close my eyes, do you think it would help?
No, it just fuels the words coming through their mouthes
They're so perfect
They're so keen
I'm so stupid
I'm so obscene
Holding it together means more than not crying
Holding it together means trying to show them I'm not dying
My face feels so hot against the cool table smoothness
My feet start to dance, I hate that I do this
Someone always has to ask if I'm okay
Despite their best intentions, I wish they would go away
They make it harder not to break
They make it easier to stop my fake
And all I have to do now is wait
Wait until the clock runs dry
And we have to say goodbye
Where I will try my best to be stealth
Because I'm so embarassed of myself
No one questions sunshine, no one questions the word "Fine"
So I'll go back to my bed and try to unwind
But all I will do is stare at the ceiling until I realize I'm already resigned.