I Am

May 2, 2013
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I am a negative, yet determined girl.
I wonder if my aspirations shall ever be achieved.
I hear my past whisper softly and insistently in my ear, “You won’t succeed.”
I see my imperfections and shortcomings arrayed in my mind.
I want and yearn desperately to become the perfect person they most want.
I am a negative, yet determined girl.

I pretend I have graduated medical school, my doctorate degree attained.
I feel the rough paper and the silky ribbon of my hard earned diploma in my hand.
I touch the lives of the patients I treat with a loving, gentle hand, caressing their souls with a light touch.
I worry about standing at death’s doors, awaiting final judgment, my fate at hand.
I cry for the irrevocable mistakes of mankind, as well as my own.
I am a negative yet determined girl.

I understand my role in life, doing my best to play it proficiently.
I say, “The night is darkest before the dawn,” because I know it to be true.
I dream about what is to come and what might be, envisioning my future at its finest.
I try to see myself as an independent young woman, but my vision is clouded by the inabilities and insecurities of my youth.
I hope that one day; I am able to reminisce upon my life with satisfaction and content.
I am a negative, yet determined girl.

I am a promising, talented, hardworking young adult, who is;
Argumentative- I’ve often thought of becoming a lawyer, so I could get paid for the trouble, and escaping the consequences,
Competitive - I can’t stand to lose, instead relishing the feeling of crushing my opponents, beating them at every turn,
Intolerant- My bad temper, little acceptance or patience for idiocy often gets the best of me, though I try to hold it in,
Impulsive- Many times I look back and berate myself for not having done better, detesting all the coulda-whoulda-shoulda-be’s,
Will forever be a negative, yet determined girl.

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