If I fall

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If I fall
I will get back up
If I fall
I will stand up and
brush myself off
If I fall
I will ask for help
For everyone falls
and
this fall is called life...





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TraceOfSpades This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 8, 2013 at 7:11 pm
This poem seems to emphasize simplicity built around a short and sweet style. While I do like the message and the metaphor you use at the end, I feel as though you could have given a vast number more of imagery, detail, and overall description, while still maintaining a shotened structure. Still, the shortness of it does make it easily readable, and I liked what I read.
 
Desiraay replied...
May 8, 2013 at 7:20 pm
thanks for the advice i did have more but i forget it somewherer so im still looking for it(:
 
BlueDolphin612 said...
May 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm
This is a very well written poem and it has a little moral hidden in there. I like it. Keep it up!!
 
Desiraay replied...
May 8, 2013 at 7:19 pm
thanks alot(: tell me if you want me to comment/read anything!
 
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