Among the shadowy walls and towers, I can feel the heat contrasting the ever-winter cold

I search, see nothing; wonder if it was god or if it was my mind that was playing cruel tricks

Then a weak cry, a tug on my leg, the feeling of desperation spreading through cracked bones

Sunken, bright eyes that could pierce a heart – that pierced my heart – a living thing that deserved to survive

I was famished and perhaps insane, filthy on the surface, and no different in the heart

So many deaths on my hands, so many families that I have torn apart, no mercy

Could I dare raise a child, with such blue eyes that could match the color of a clear summer sky?

So innocent, Satan, the devil himself, would hesitate to ignore such a beautiful creature

But this broken hell is no place for non-broken things, with a bloody sky and a smoked out sun

Guns ever-blazing, peace never-more; love doesn’t exist, they told me – but I ask, what is this?

This connection between a child with tousled blonde hair and a lonely man who’s life is void

It isn’t right, but nothing is ever right in this hell hole – Breaking a rule won’t hurt when there aren’t any
rules anymore

So I placed both hands on this boy’s waist, and lifted him into the air, with all the strength I had

And I held him against my chest, and realized that I was crying, for something was so wrong

The weight that had been in my arms had slipped away into nothingness, no more child, my love was gone

And that face of his, those glowing eyes, that was embedded in my mind – I realized the familiarity of it

Because I once carried those features of innocence, I was once that boy, in my childhood

Before the lies, before the bombs, before the fights, before the violence and the gore; that was me

And with that realization, my heart was stabbed a thousand times and my old knees betrayed me

The ground was cold, cold, and the sky was so ever dark – I remembered the life I could have had

Bright green pastures under the hot, hot sun with a wooden house and a family of my own

And that boy would have grown up ever so nicely, ever so kindly, in a peaceful world of bliss

But it is unfortunate that in a moment, one decision, one simple choice can change the course of a life – my life

And that guilty people must face their guilt at the end – I see no bright light in my tunnel, only black fire

And a mirror, with a face an innocent child; this pain is too severe