A Tropical Paradise MAG

September 10, 2008
By Madison Fisher PLATINUM, New City, New York
Madison Fisher PLATINUM, New City, New York
28 articles 2 photos 2 comments

Lying on the beach
With sunglasses on your face
Shielding the harsh sunlight from your eyes.
You cover your skin with SPF 25.
Sand makes its way into your sandals,
but you don’t mind.
Off in the distance music is being played
on steel drums.
They set the mood of your whole vacation:
You see the boats drift by with their brightly
colored sides
And you hold onto your tropical drink that tastes
like bananas
With its tiny umbrella hanging off the side.
It makes you smile.
You wonder if the sailors on the boat are as
peaceful as you are.
Worries escape you as you drift into your own oasis
And your home life becomes something of the past.
Almost unreal.
You smell coconut everywhere you go
And wonder if you’ll miss it when you leave.
All you hear is the crashing of the waves.
All you can feel is your newly burnt skin.
All that matters is nothing.

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This article has 133 comments.

on Jun. 3 2010 at 1:10 pm
Mackayla SILVER, Ft Collins, Colorado
6 articles 3 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Learn from it; tomorrow is a new day. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I didnt really like this. It didnt seem like a poem to me. just a description.

on Jun. 3 2010 at 9:57 am
livelovelaugh353 SILVER, San Carlos, California
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I agree with IgniteTheAirwaves. I don't not like this poem, it definitely does a good job bringing the reader back the beach, I just think if you want more depth and meaning in the poem you could think about maybe one specific memory. Great job though!

on Jun. 3 2010 at 7:53 am
IgniteTheAirwaves PLATINUM, New City, New York
41 articles 37 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." -J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

I completely agree. I don't dislike this poem, but it's very fruity and lacks any sort of depth. Maybe even if you tried to put an old memory behind it while you're writing, it may help.

on Jun. 3 2010 at 12:13 am
StarlightStormcloud, Pasadena, California
0 articles 3 photos 34 comments
This is just a couple sentences with random line breaks.  It captures being at the beach because that's all it describes!  Seriously, where are the poems with true dimension?  

on May. 12 2010 at 11:21 pm
ScarletThread, Someplace, Pennsylvania
0 articles 9 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Faithless is he so says farewell when the road darkens. -J. R. R. Tolkien

When all we have is God, we have all we need.

awesome!!! you did a great job capturing what it's like to be at the beach!

keep it up, madison!!!!!!

on May. 12 2010 at 4:02 pm
AddisonElizabeth, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
0 articles 2 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

so good. love it(:

on May. 12 2010 at 3:38 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

this was soo amazing!! i loved it amazing imagery :) i actually wrote one about a beach scene too...check it out and critique please? TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/206088/Paradise/

on May. 12 2010 at 12:29 pm
Thinker PLATINUM, Na, Connecticut
47 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
A wise word does not make the speaker wise.

I have always wanted to go to a tropical beach, this is probably the closest I've ever gotten.

on Apr. 20 2010 at 12:48 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

omggg that like brought me to the beach!! love it!!!!!!!

on Apr. 20 2010 at 2:25 am
mcpanicfanic SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 65 comments
I love that last line. This poem is amazing. I wish i were on a beach!

on Mar. 29 2010 at 6:13 pm
Xilaberry SILVER, Shoreline, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments
What I really love about this is that nothing you're saying matters in the grand scheme of things, and that's the point. Life doesn't always need to be full of deep meaning and big ideas. Keep up the good work.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 11:18 am
Alisha62293 BRONZE, Warwick, Rhode Island
2 articles 1 photo 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." Charles Darwin

this is a really pretty poem, your choice of word are amazing. keep up the good work =D

can you look at some of mine and let me know what you think? thanks.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 10:51 am
OH GRRRRRRL. me too. it's been rainin all day and all night for 40 days and 40 nights. lemme know how da beach is, you know. i'm tryna meetchu up in there, you know. luh ya.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 8:04 am
VioletsandVoice, Spiritwood, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 170 comments
ugh it is muddy and rainy and disgusting where i live and i think im going to read this poem over and over again until it teleports me to said tropical island

meghan107 said...
on Mar. 15 2010 at 8:34 am
I really liked this poem because I felt like I was actually on the beach in the Caribbean.

Arrow BRONZE said...
on Mar. 7 2010 at 6:06 pm
Arrow BRONZE, Ann Arbor, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
Wow! Amazing! This is a beautiful poem, I love the flow of the words.

on Mar. 7 2010 at 1:41 pm
kimmycakes GOLD, Monrovia, California
14 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"never let love bring u down" also "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb"

this is really good keep writing

on Mar. 7 2010 at 12:56 pm
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost

great poem! you can really feel like your on the beach and everything! AMAZING! love it so much 5 stars

on Mar. 7 2010 at 10:50 am
riley1516 PLATINUM, Lake Zurich, Illinois
26 articles 2 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

Great poem! You really captured the feel of being on vacation!

on Mar. 7 2010 at 8:35 am
alwayswriting14 SILVER, Northport, New York
7 articles 1 photo 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything makes sense yet nothing makes sense."

I loved it!!! You captured the feelings of someone on vaction...thanks, i felt like i was there.


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