Access Denied

April 18, 2013
By aspiringpoet13 GOLD, White Marsh, Virginia
aspiringpoet13 GOLD, White Marsh, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 3 comments

There’s a barbed wire fence
Entangled around my heart
Making it impossible to let anyone in
Protecting my heart from bursting
From an overload of heartbreaks and letdowns

I’m hesitant to love anybody
Because I don’t want to break
My heart will always be split in two
Permanently damaged by
Demeaning words and battle scars

There was an invisible line
Dividing that house, step over it
And you were shot and stabbed by
Slurred words and sleepy responses

Living with him was a constant battle
Forever depressed and disappointed
I have the battle scars all over my body
They’re internal, disguised by
Smiles and forced laughter

My heart is locked up tight
Armed guards protect me
From him approaching the gates
I wish he would just realize
That access has been denied

He lost the key the key the second
He decided to choose the drugs
Over being a father, he made his choice

Now he pretends to care
When he had us he abused his authority
Being crowned a father is a privilege
That he will never earn

I will not break the way he did
He fell so hard, hit rock bottom
With no one to help him out of
The grave he was digging for himself

It was like watching someone
Slowly take their own life, willingly
I wish I could get rid of those images
But they fuel me, make me stronger

My heart can’t possibly break
When it was never whole in the first place
I internalize the pain, lock it away
But I don’t cry on the outside anymore

My heart is fragile, lightweight
I hate to tell him, he didn’t break my heart
Just fractured it, he knocked me down
But I will stand up again, I always do

If he ever comes knocking on my door
His daughter wants absolutely nothing
To do with him, I have better things to do
More important people to see and he
Is no longer one of them
Because of a selfish decision
That will haunt him for the rest of his life

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This article has 1 comment.

on Apr. 26 2013 at 3:00 pm
My heart breaks for this author.  What an inspiring and moving poem.  A+


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