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Riddle me this

How do you love someone with all your heart and still have the capability to lie to them?
I know,
I'm sure I want them with all my heart and still
I tremble, shiver, whisper softly
Say I could never love them
I don't have enough love to give
How do you define the undefinable?
Give reason where there is none
I tell fake truths
Whole lies
To sway the youth
But I don't have proof
I'm weary and weak
And still I speak
How do you love without fear of the unknown?
Easy they tell me but
I've grown so comfortable
Pretending to love
Lying to them and
Laughing at them
And now I can't come out of myself
Enough to love someone else
How can you look someone in the eyes, say I love you, and not feel a thing?
Fake smiles
Fake friends
Fake love I send
Sealed with kisses
But empty
I am empty
They think they know me
They know nothing
How can you walk through life pretending?
Day after day
I say
Good enough
I'm not good enough
Planting a seed
Watering and growing the words
Sprouting from me
Like a weed
Not good enough
And soon I believe
How does one die before even seeing, or knowing the cruel fingers of death?
I forget
Forget to live
Forget to love
Forget to see
Dying even before
I'm terminally ill
Fickle and sore
Like Scrooge
I fell
How can they tell me that I am worthless, when I am just the same as them?
They're human too
They feel the same
Well I guess
Worthless is an umbrella word for
Empty, Afraid, Liar and Dead
Worthless kills me more

Riddle me this

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