the stoplights were especially green
in my delirium, and I could swear
I heard your voice singing me a lullaby
like you used to do three years back.
but then I remembered
that I had downloaded the original song
on my iPod
and I had my earphones in.

Everything seems to move slower
when you're deep in insanity,
and green lights seem to be lighter
when your father is ignoring your pleas
to stop calling you “honey”
and ignores you more
when you tell him to stop
insisting you go to military school.

But then again,
when you're only knee deep in insanity,
the world slips by you too quickly
and you don't have time to grab onto
my outstretched hand before
you drown.

I told you I'm a bad lifeguard.