Society's Flaw

April 10, 2013
By StarGazer9 GOLD, Marana, Arizona
StarGazer9 GOLD, Marana, Arizona
19 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."


Among the shadows darkness hides
And into weak men's hearts it slides
Unnoticed in the bustling crowd
Only to later scream aloud

It's success grows and day by day
More citizens are lead astray
They work their evils in secret
So no one can detect their threat

And good's angels are bound in chains
So that evil's all that remains
That's when they call the rest by name
So that their fate might be the same

The crowds, yes, that's who they want
To love their work that they may taunt
With pleasing words the state of mind
That tricks the race of all man kind

But there are a few who dare to rise
Against this thing which they despise
That maybe one day we will see
That we decide if we are free


The author's comments:
Today we live in a world surrounded with people who do terrible things. We don't have to follow their example. The only one to blame for your decisions is you, so make good ones.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jun. 25 2013 at 4:16 pm
StarGazer9 GOLD, Marana, Arizona
19 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."

Ya, i've always stuck to rhyming patterns and such. Maybe i'll try adventuring out of that. Thanks for the advice :)

on Jun. 24 2013 at 7:09 pm
theatregirl PLATINUM, Lathrup Village, Michigan
30 articles 12 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To thine own self be true," -from Hamlet, a play by Shakespeare.
"I have sworn on the altar of god eternal hostility against all forms of tyranny over the mind of man." - Thomas Jefferson

Great poem. I really like the structure. Also, don't be afraid to break the structure by not rhyming as much. Rhyming often weaken poems and create a poem keep the same tone throughout, and their no climax. By using not rhyme u can differ the stanza and recreate different feels. It's free verse, so u a bit more liberty when it come to rhyming. :P But overall, good poetry. Keep writing :D


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