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Society's Flaw

Among the shadows darkness hides
And into weak men's hearts it slides
Unnoticed in the bustling crowd
Only to later scream aloud

It's success grows and day by day
More citizens are lead astray
They work their evils in secret
So no one can detect their threat

And good's angels are bound in chains
So that evil's all that remains
That's when they call the rest by name
So that their fate might be the same

The crowds, yes, that's who they want
To love their work that they may taunt
With pleasing words the state of mind
That tricks the race of all man kind

But there are a few who dare to rise
Against this thing which they despise
That maybe one day we will see
That we decide if we are free




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theatregirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
yesterday at 7:09 pm:
Great poem. I really like the structure. Also, don't be afraid to break the structure by not rhyming as much. Rhyming often weaken poems and create a poem keep the same tone throughout, and their no climax. By using not rhyme u can differ the stanza and recreate different feels. It's free verse, so u a bit more liberty when it come to rhyming. :P But overall, good poetry. Keep writing :D
 
StarGazer9This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 4:16 pm :
Ya, i've always stuck to rhyming patterns and such. Maybe i'll try adventuring out of that. Thanks for the advice :)
 
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