Mommy and Me

April 9, 2013
From dressing me up, all pretty in pink
In dreams of the girl you wanted me to be
To giving me baths in the kitchen sink
It was always just mommy and me

Glitter and hairspray and makeup galore
Watching me prance in my tutu so happily
You were backstage mom, “You look beautiful” you were there to ensure
Those traditions with mommy and me

Our family had our issues, things weren’t always good
But you always made sure I had my friends in company
You took us everywhere, to give me the perfect childhood
But the best times were with just mommy and me

As I grew older and more mature
You began to explain why we weren’t one big happy family
We’d go out to eat and tears would pour
Over secrets shared between mommy and me

Years went by and tensions grew
My brother and I were told to pick sides, he chose you and I got daddy
I couldn’t do it without you, there were tough times to get through
And then, there was no longer a mommy and me

Things continued to fall apart and assumptions rose
Dad knew all along, but knew I was too young to see
But as strange incidents occurred, I knew he had something to disclose
That there would never again be a mommy and me

Alzheimer’s went from being an unknown and anonymous word
To a nightmare that filled my brain and sucked away my glee
My old life flew away from my grasp, like a free bird
Just like distant dreams of a future mommy and me

I didn’t understand the full concept of it all
You slowly became a stranger, an absentee
Everyday I pray the doctor made the wrong call
Because that call ruined mommy and me

A teenage girl growing up without her mother
Is going through the worst and best time of her life incredibly fearfully
I can’t talk to you, and the world is constantly trying to smother
The girl that can no longer say, “mommy and me”
Conditions worsened, as well as your mind
The tables turned to me babysitting mommy
And as you became the child, I hid my feelings and left you behind
I’m the one who threw away the idea of mommy and me

Looking into your deep, empty, sorrowful eyes
I think of how I’ve treated you and my eyes get all watery
I know it’s not your fault, and that’s why I want to apologize
And all I want you to remember of me was our times as mommy and me

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