How do I put words to the fact that you are everything
but also nothing?

I can feel you and it's klling me.
You occupy me.
I only think about the day I'll see you,
the day you hold me,
the day I no longer must feel incomplete.
It fills me up until it runs down my face.

I'm so utterly and completely stupid.

It seems irrational, one-sided, hopeless...
But I did this to myself.
WHy am I so afraid to lose someone I've never had?
When did I become so attached?
Setting myself up to get crushed is nothing new.

You give me hope
that I won't have to settle like I always have,
like I've always been worried I'll have to.

Everyone else disappeared when
you
came into my life.

I don't know how this happened to me,
but I do know,
that I look forward and see us
and look back and see nothing
and I have never been so afraid.

I'm completely enamored.
I am reckless.
I am hopeless.
I am stupid.
I am so, so sorry.