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An Hourglass for Your Pain in Your Life
March 29, 2013
The things we tell ourselves to make us feel better.
The things I tell myself to feel better.
These abandoned promises and hallow flashbacks
Won't stop screening themselves in my conscious.
Are you the one to blame when you are suffering because you can't stop remembering?
This is life.
And pain…
Pain is nothing but a simple compromise.
So that we can get what we want out of it;
Life is full of ambiguities, and nobody gets out of it alive.
I shouldn't throw my life away,
Better yet and more importantly you should not throw your life away.
Life is tied and dragged along with Time.
So as the sand falls down to the bottom,
I ask you the question:
How much time do you have left?
© Carollynn G., Hawthorne, NY
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 12 comments.
MissLizzieGirl GOLD said...
on Apr. 19 2013 at 10:44 pm
how much time do you have left? This is a question I often ask myself. I honestly don't know if I will die tomorrow or in sixty years. But being one who frequents hospitals. I am very focused on living each moment like it is my last. Making my legacy. I write for this site because I hope that somewhere someone will remember me.
BrokenWingedDove said...
on Apr. 17 2013 at 12:11 pm
Hey this is actually very good, very thought provoking. You should most definitely keep writing!
AmorMoritur PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 16 2013 at 7:26 pm
i love the last line..."how much time do you have left?" and isnt that everyones question. it is one of the only things left in our lives that we cant answer. i love this! and i love "dragged along with Time" because it is so cool. i can see it in my mind. this is so profound and astounding and amazingly wonderful! whew...well i really really loved it :)
beccalynn1663 GOLD said...
on Apr. 16 2013 at 6:48 pm
this is really inspiring! you are amazing!
AmorMoritur PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 8 2013 at 7:34 pm
this is amazing. it really inspires you to think profound thoughts... i love it <3
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 7 2013 at 4:08 pm
The last stanza is my favorite because it really makes you think. I mean we could all die at any minute from some kinda freak accident so it ally makes you wonder. Love the language and imagery. The picture also goes perfect with the poem great job.
MissExploration BRONZE said...
on Apr. 7 2013 at 3:21 pm
This is a great poem, I like the use of your puncuation which is put perfectly. Your last line "How much time do you have left?" It makes me question myself and it feels really strong as I read it. Your first stanza sounds really strong, but as it starts getting toward the other stanzas it starts to get weaker it seems. However, the poem is well written.
the_sky_is_blue GOLD said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 8:37 pm
The first part of this piece is really good and I liked it all the way up to the line, "Nobody gets out of it alive." From then on, it seemed a little cliche and your use of language was not as good as it could have been. You demonstrated from the first 2/3 of the poem that you can use the english language to show, rather than tell. This is the ultimate goal of poetry. One of the wisest men I've had to privalege to know told me to show through poetry rather than tell becuase poetry is the economy of lanuage. I think you did this perfectly in the line "Won't stop screening themselves in my conscious." This piece definitely has potential, and I hope you don't take offense to my feedback. Keep writing!
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 6:11 pm
I liked the way you would start with one statement and then follow with something very similar. For example: “The things we tell ourselves to make us feel better. // The things I tell myself to feel better.” and also: “I shouldn't throw my life away, // Better yet and more importantly you should not throw your life away.”. In addition, I though you demonstrated good use of punctuation. It is evident that you focused on small details, which can really make a poem so much more meaningful. Also, I must compliment your word usage. The line “These abandoned promises and hallow flashbacks” is definitely one of my favorites. Overall, great work!
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 2:36 pm
I love the last stanza.. it sums up your point and the last line is so.. eery? Yeah. I like how you compare pain with time/hourglass. This poem really made me think, and it will stick with me for a long time! Great job!
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"You have not even begun to scratch the surface of how important your life means to not only me, [y]our friends and [y]our family, but your life, which is a gift for the world that is waiting for you." - Brent Smith.