A Wandering Gaze | Teen Ink

A Wandering Gaze

March 25, 2013
By CountryPopGirl PLATINUM, Lawrenceville, New Jersey
CountryPopGirl PLATINUM, Lawrenceville, New Jersey
38 articles 16 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly..."
-Dr. Jack Hodgins (Bones)


My eyes start to wander
They scan the crowd for him
I know this is wrong
I am engaged
He is just a friend
Dan can’t find out

I see him
He is sitting alone at the bar
A drink in his hand
He isn’t having fun
I feel bad for him
I want to be with him
Dan can’t find out

I start staring at him
Why is he so sad?
Is it because of me?
Maybe I shouldn’t have left him alone
I am a horrible friend
Why did I do that to him?
Why did I do it to both of them?
Dan can’t find out

He turns towards me
My heart starts to beat faster
I feel my legs freeze below me
I can’t move
I can only stare at him
Dan can’t find out

He starts walking over
I shouldn’t have been here
I want to leave
My feet are nailed to the floor
He stops near me
He asks, “Is this seat taken.”
I shake my head
He sits down
This is wrong
Dan can’t find out

I gaze at him
He smiles at me
His teeth shine
Brighter than I remember
I see his eyes
They seem to sparkle
I want to talk to him
I am about to speak
He kisses me on the lips
Dan can’t find out

The world slows around us
Time freezes in this moment
It felt so right
But it was wrong
I was with Dan
Dan can’t find out

His lips release me
Time resumes
I stare at him again
His skin seems to glow
His eyes dazzle me
I pull him back
I am done with Dan

I feel a spark
It spreads all around me
It engulfs me
I realize that he was the death of me
My secret love
My unintentional love
The fire burns me
The fire burns him
We die in each others arms
Dan found out



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