I’m Conscience-Stricken

March 31, 2013
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I look at you and I try to walk through,
but you’re a labyrinth.
You blink apprehensively and act like you can’t see me.
My thoughts start to teeter and my face is hot like rum and a fever.
You’re looking gob smacked and take a step back…
I came here with a serene attitude,
but I’m perturbed by the way that you move.
My brain is reeled at the out of order behavior
and not knowing how to react I stood shock still.
Your life used to be picturesque;
how’d it end up like this?
I didn’t realize it’d been such an aeon since I left -
I did not mean to be gone so long, but don’t blame me for your life going wrong.
A request for forgiveness is all I can offer…
I see a yield sign in your eye
and so I assume this is good-bye.
You’ve calculated my assumption and the stab in my back says you’ve strayed from our pack.
I guess holding a friendship is something I lack.

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Metal4Life said...
May 20, 2013 at 9:39 pm
Awesome use of imagery, literary devices, and a very interesting format! You are so talented I really enjoy your works!
SoulPoetry said...
May 5, 2013 at 12:57 pm
I love your style! The poem really stands out with all the metaphors and such! (The labyrinth metaphor is so true for all of us) This poem flowed so well.. I love your work so much! Keep writing<3
dragonsandthree said...
May 2, 2013 at 8:49 am
This is awesome! It flows beautifully.
Infinite.Survivor.365 said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Friendship is deffinetly hard to describe but I feel like your on point with this! props:)
AugustSummerFling This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:37 am
This reminded me of some of my broken friendships.. It was very nice :) with a good word choice n a smooth flow :)
thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:31 am
Struck me as quite an emotional one, this, and your words are well used too, to make up a fine poem for an idea so simple. 
TheEpic95 said...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:45 am
Sweet work! I like your modern style and metaphors. The part about the yeild sign in the persons eyes was great! Another part I liked was "My brain reeled out of order at yiur behavior/ and not knowing how toreact I stood shock still." Just great! Keep writing, keep up the good work!
tuckertwin12 said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:06 pm
That was really great and so true! Most poems show friendship as one happy thing, but this doesn't. And i loved that! Keep writing!!
7_Ambitions said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 6:38 pm
I really loved this poem , i could feel the emotion, and the vocabulary makes it so much realier, I Loved It
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:53 pm
I'm so happy to have read this new poem from you. I love the language you use—especially in the first sentence "but you're a labyrinth"—aren't we all labryinths so un-decipherable to everyone esle but ourselves—hold on I think I'm having an epiphany for a new poem here. Anyway, I adore your explanation of freindship in this poem. Friendship aren't always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes they're 18-headed dragons that breathe fire. Love this!
-Char said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:12 pm
This brought a single tear to my eye. It's phenomenal. Keep writing, go you:)
Fallenoutofgrace said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Amazing way to go keep it up :3
Laugh-it-Out This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Totally relatable! Great job i know EXACTLY what u mean
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