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She ain't no pussy cat

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Our faces opposite; her sparkling eye glistens into mine.
She gives me kisses;
cheek to cheek;
nose to forehead.

She pulls my socks off and tugs at the cuffs of my jeans.
She crawls up my legs on all fours;
panting from excitement.

She climbs onto me; sitting on my lap;
she stares at me wide eyed;
jiggling around on top of me.

She begs.

She nudges her head under my chin;
rubbing herself against me.
Noming on my earlobe;
paws on my lap.

I tease her with her balls;
the excitement continues.
A fan for a tail;
a breeze fills the room.

With a throw she’s gone;
a squeak for every bounce until she catches it in her mouth.



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This article has 18 comments. Post your own!

EvetteT said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:28 pm:
  Thought it was human at first but it was actually a dog. Nice!
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 31, 2013 at 7:53 am :
haha, glad you enjoyed the humour of it :L :)
 
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SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:29 am:
This is a fun poem that was pretty entertaining. I didn't really get  the suprise ending thing, most of the things described seemed to be distintly dog-like things, but ingoring that, I did like it. The abundance of unnecessary semicolons was distracting though. Semicolons arae used to connect two complete sentences, not fragments. In almost all of the places, there should be a comma instead. Other than that, nice work!
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 28, 2013 at 6:56 pm :
Thanks for the comment, and yes I do agree with the criticism as I have with the others that have said similar things.
Well the idea of the poem is to be a comical poem, most people would think of the discription as being "naughty" when it is actually a dog, hence the suprise ending; but dont worry if you didn't get it, not everyone will :)
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:58 am :
oh god xD I didn't even catch that! Okay. I understand it now and it is quite funny!
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 5:47 pm :
hahahahahaa, well I'm glad you found it funny in the end lol :D
 
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WriteOrWrong said...
Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:28 pm:
I don't think the four leg thing gives it away but cats don't pant so that may. The piece is really playfull, I love it. I don't think you need a semi colon after check to cheek. I think a comma would do the job. I don't think you used them that unnecessarily though. Thy seem to be of poetic use.
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:18 pm :
Yes, I see why you say that, thanks for pointing it out :D
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:09 pm:
Hey there, James! I'm sure after my comments on your work you know that titles mean a lot to me when it comes to writing and that I always choose the work witht he most interesting title. I found this one very funny and after reading the poem I enjoyed the title even more. I liked this poem, it was fun. I enjoyed the set-up and the small rhymes. I think that you over-used the semi-colons, but hey, I never even use them. Oops! Anyways, I wish I could remember all the things I said in my comme... (more »)
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:49 pm :
Yeah, I tried to connect them and put a twist on it to try and make it more interesting, i'm glad you picked up on that. I'm also glad that you enjoyed it in all, even though this is a good example of my obssession with semi-colons at the time. And, well, I know I have used them too much, but I do find that they are very useful for breaking up the sentence, so that it works and to include a better rhythm.
Thanks for coming back and trying again, and dont worry, your comment is stil... (more »)
 
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WrenArrington said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 11:24 pm:
I agree with Krasota about the not giving away the four legs thing. I also think you should be careful with your punctuation--semicolons don't seem to work where you have them, especially since you have so many. Other than that, nice job.
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16, 2013 at 8:53 am :
I can see where your coming from, I used to overly use them (i.e. this poem). I also see that it't not necessary all of the time, I think I just prefer to because it adds more of a rythme to the poem (I don't like too many full stops).
Thanks for the comment :)
 
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KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 8:41 pm:
Here's some actual critique :D According to your author's comment, you said you wanted to lead the reader in one direction and then change things completely. My suggestion is that you change it a bit in the beginning to reflect that. Crawling "up my legs on all fours" gives it away that we're not talking about a human here (if that was indeed your intention).
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 16, 2013 at 8:51 am :
It depends on how your mind works, personally, because all fours doesnt necessarily mean legs - think of the comedy it is trying to relate to (anymore detail won't be allowed on this haha). But I can see your point, it is a bit more of a give away.
Thanks for the comments :)
 
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KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 8:11 pm:
Awwww I like this puppy poem ^_^ Nice job! It's not every day that you find a poem like this on Teen Ink.
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 2:18 pm:
Hey there! (I am glad to see that my comment on the poem about the Jews finally posted!) Anyways, I loved the title, I thought it was funny.. but after reading the poem I enjoyed it even more. I love everything overall, the title, the picture, the poem, and your author's comment had me excited to read the poem. I love the attention to small details, everything is very clear and crisp. I liked the simplicity of it. Great job!
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:03 pm:
Thanks    :D
 
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LittleBitOfSunshineThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:12 am:
lol i like it. :D   
 
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