She ain't no pussy cat

March 7, 2013
By BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”


Our faces opposite; her sparkling eye glistens into mine.
She gives me kisses;
cheek to cheek;
nose to forehead.

She pulls my socks off and tugs at the cuffs of my jeans.
She crawls up my legs on all fours;
panting from excitement.

She climbs onto me; sitting on my lap;
she stares at me wide eyed;
jiggling around on top of me.

She begs.

She nudges her head under my chin;
rubbing herself against me.
Noming on my earlobe;
paws on my lap.

I tease her with her balls;
the excitement continues.
A fan for a tail;
a breeze fills the room.

With a throw she’s gone;
a squeak for every bounce until she catches it in her mouth.


The author's comments:
I have read a lot of Roald Dahl before where he leads you in one direction then changes things completely at the end, and somehow, the story always makes sense. I thought I'd incorporate that into one of my poems with some added humour, it is just a bit of fun really.

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This article has 18 comments.


on Dec. 31 2013 at 7:53 am
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

haha, glad you enjoyed the humour of it :L :)

on Dec. 28 2013 at 6:28 pm
NaaThompson GOLD, Allston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don't like someone's story, write your own. -Chinua Achebe

  Thought it was human at first but it was actually a dog. Nice!

on Jul. 30 2013 at 5:47 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

hahahahahaa, well I'm glad you found it funny in the end lol :D

on Jul. 30 2013 at 9:58 am
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

oh god xD I didn't even catch that! Okay. I understand it now and it is quite funny!

on Jul. 28 2013 at 6:56 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

Thanks for the comment, and yes I do agree with the criticism as I have with the others that have said similar things.
Well the idea of the poem is to be a comical poem, most people would think of the discription as being "naughty" when it is actually a dog, hence the suprise ending; but dont worry if you didn't get it, not everyone will :)

on Jul. 28 2013 at 11:29 am
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

This is a fun poem that was pretty entertaining. I didn't really get  the suprise ending thing, most of the things described seemed to be distintly dog-like things, but ingoring that, I did like it. The abundance of unnecessary semicolons was distracting though. Semicolons arae used to connect two complete sentences, not fragments. In almost all of the places, there should be a comma instead. Other than that, nice work!

on Jul. 4 2013 at 12:18 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

Yes, I see why you say that, thanks for pointing it out :D

on Jul. 3 2013 at 8:28 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

I don't think the four leg thing gives it away but cats don't pant so that may. The piece is really playfull, I love it. I don't think you need a semi colon after check to cheek. I think a comma would do the job. I don't think you used them that unnecessarily though. Thy seem to be of poetic use.

on Jun. 20 2013 at 3:49 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

Yeah, I tried to connect them and put a twist on it to try and make it more interesting, i'm glad you picked up on that. I'm also glad that you enjoyed it in all, even though this is a good example of my obssession with semi-colons at the time. And, well, I know I have used them too much, but I do find that they are very useful for breaking up the sentence, so that it works and to include a better rhythm.
Thanks for coming back and trying again, and dont worry, your comment is still appreciated :)

on Jun. 20 2013 at 2:09 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey there, James! I'm sure after my comments on your work you know that titles mean a lot to me when it comes to writing and that I always choose the work witht he most interesting title. I found this one very funny and after reading the poem I enjoyed the title even more. I liked this poem, it was fun. I enjoyed the set-up and the small rhymes. I think that you over-used the semi-colons, but hey, I never even use them. Oops! Anyways, I wish I could remember all the things I said in my comment before. But, with that being said, I enjoyed this poem and I think you did a good job with humor and small details.

on Jun. 16 2013 at 8:53 am
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

I can see where your coming from, I used to overly use them (i.e. this poem). I also see that it't not necessary all of the time, I think I just prefer to because it adds more of a rythme to the poem (I don't like too many full stops).
Thanks for the comment :)

on Jun. 16 2013 at 8:51 am
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

It depends on how your mind works, personally, because all fours doesnt necessarily mean legs - think of the comedy it is trying to relate to (anymore detail won't be allowed on this haha). But I can see your point, it is a bit more of a give away.
Thanks for the comments :)

on Jun. 15 2013 at 11:24 pm
WrenArrington, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 74 comments
I agree with Krasota about the not giving away the four legs thing. I also think you should be careful with your punctuation--semicolons don't seem to work where you have them, especially since you have so many. Other than that, nice job.

on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:41 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

Here's some actual critique :D According to your author's comment, you said you wanted to lead the reader in one direction and then change things completely. My suggestion is that you change it a bit in the beginning to reflect that. Crawling "up my legs on all fours" gives it away that we're not talking about a human here (if that was indeed your intention).

on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:11 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

Awwww I like this puppy poem ^_^ Nice job! It's not every day that you find a poem like this on Teen Ink.

on Jun. 15 2013 at 2:18 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey there! (I am glad to see that my comment on the poem about the Jews finally posted!) Anyways, I loved the title, I thought it was funny.. but after reading the poem I enjoyed it even more. I love everything overall, the title, the picture, the poem, and your author's comment had me excited to read the poem. I love the attention to small details, everything is very clear and crisp. I liked the simplicity of it. Great job!

on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:03 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

Thanks    :D

on Apr. 5 2013 at 11:12 am
Scarlett_the_pegacorn BRONZE, Niceville, Florida
4 articles 24 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me how to live my life; I do what I want.

lol i like it. :D   


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