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Cinderella's first-aid kit

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I asked Cinderella's mice to patch up my broken heart -
they began. Poke, stab, prod.
Yes, it was painful now, but knowing that it would be beautiful later
I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes.
A glass slipper can easily get lost, but it can shatter just as quick
and that's what happened to us.
The sharp pieces that were never swept up still rip me apart.
We'll both have permanent scars where the jagged edges of our love collided,
but you see,
yours bled and mine bleeds.



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GreekGoddessThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 2:59 pm
This is very well structered and the ending was a great way to end it. What I don't quite understand is how the "sharp peices.. still rip me apart". I don't undersatnd how glass rips you apart. I'm not sure how it can be better put (and I love the "Never swept up" part!). Good job and keep it up!
 
OlveraJorge1 said...
May 13, 2013 at 2:37 pm
I Really did enjoy reading this
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 13, 2013 at 8:56 pm
Thank you.
 
MyApocalypticThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:03 pm
Wow. You took a very used fairy tale allusion and turned it into something new and, yes, relatable. I winced with pain alongside your sharp descriptions. Exsquisite work :)
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:31 pm
Thank you so much!
 
thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:25 am
That it's short and effective is a plus, and your writing itself compliments to this well-phrased, relatable poem. Were it not on a cliche theme, it would have been outstanding. Good job though!
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Haha we all need a cliche poem in our lives. Thank you! Xo
 
writerauterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:55 pm
this poem made me think of two words. 1. relatable and 2. beautiful. good job! i love all your work!<3
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:00 pm
You don't know how much I appreciate that... thank you!
 
7_Ambitions said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:19 pm
This poem unforunately was relateable and i really liked it , i swear i wish i could write as good as the people on this , anyway simply amazing
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Thank you. Xo + Keep practicing, we all have a long way to go.
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm
This poem breathes imagery. I love your allusion of Cinderella. 
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:18 pm
You're so sweet. Thank you :)
 
Literature_DarlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:58 pm
beautiful! I loved the the last four lines. YOu had great line breaks and very nice imagery!
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Thank you so much. Xo
 
HannahBanana99This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm
I loved this poem! The theme was very unique and the words flowed really well together. Nice job :)
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:48 pm
I'm glad you liked it, thank you. :)
 
mnm08 said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm
I love how you took a fairytale and moulded it into your own version :) this poem is very novel and i especially enjoyed the imagery with the glass slipper. 
 
laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:37 pm
Thank you :)
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:00 am
I really like the last line of this. It does a very good job of tying the poem together. And the metaphor of Cinderella was certainly a unique one, which I liked. :)
 
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