drunken resolution

March 19, 2013
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blaring sirens assault my unabashed follies
in which I can be as happy as I choose
my mind feels underwater, still
unaware that it is awake
when the rest of me
is dead
what happened? as my concrete dreams
melt into misty puddles
the world I created is
nothing more than
a trance I barely remember
like a drunken resolution

I slowly seep into this too-bright mindset
(or it seeps into me)
hard edged squares in fluorescent off-whites
cannot compare to
pastel orbs, merging and splitting
and creating something
once so beautiful
now an invasion, a disturbance—
dead air
my night-shift radio show,
off my bedroom walls
I’m only half paralyzed
the important part
is still alive

this is waking up.
this is being pulling into gravity
spilling with stars and suns
when I am only
negative space.
I am awake, but the rest of me
is dead

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