Living in the Middle

March 18, 2013
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I’m not the girl who hates the world
sitting in a corner
with heavy metal music
blasting in her ears.
I don’t raise my voice
at every moment possible
just to get people to notice
or to listen.

I don’t go around
saying hi to everyone I know,
or hang out
with fifty people at once,
but I’m not an aloner.

I don’t cringe at the opportunity to go
to a beer-and-snacks-infested,
crowded, loud hockey game with my scary,
bald 200-plus-pounds-of-muscle dad
just because I’m “afraid.”
I don’t make an effort to eat hot wings
or big juicy burgers
or fries with a fork
only to be “appropriate” in public or at home.

I’m not your cool cat,
or your fight-starter,
or your scream-and-run-away-in-fear type girl.
I’m not always wearing pink,
I don’t smile and bat my eyelashes at boys,
and I will never say no to meat
just because the animals are cute.

I’m not loud, but I’m not super shy.
I don’t scream at the sight of spiders (anymore).
I don’t post every single part of my life
on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter
only for people to fill up
my newsfeed with Likes.
I’m not on the social media
every second of every day,
and I hardly text
more than two people nonstop.

I’m not a soulless zombie
just because I don’t smile at every little thing
or laugh out loud every minute
or cry at the sad parts of movies (mostly).
Just cause you don’t see my feelings
doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

I don’t hate the world itself,
but I don’t love it.
I don’t hate people themselves,
but if they’re annoying
I won’t wanna talk to them.
I don’t hate being alone,
but I don’t want to be alone all the time.
I don’t hate veggies,
(which my mother doesn’t believe)
but I don’t love them.

I haven’t written myself off as nothing,
or not important,
and I’m not a chooser of sides.
I don’t worry what the people
with the bitter hearts
are gonna say,
and I know I can be better off
just being myself,
knowing that it doesn’t matter
if it’s good enough for someone else.

I’m in the middle of the ride,
in the backseat taking in the scenery,
and my destination, my legacy,
is waiting for me.

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