Poetry in the Making

March 18, 2013
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The way I feel for other people often blows my mind
Especially considering most have never had the consistency to stay by my side
Another promise broken by many
Yet I haven’t learned have i?
Kinda like my heart
Just like the many scars that lay across my body
From the things I never thought I’d feel
for you, her, him or even them
But this is just poetry in the making
Still needing to be written
I’ve always had the urge to erase so many from my mind
But something insides keeps holding on, thinking things will chance
One day, i will realize none of you are there when needed
Which I need to realize you’re not the one I need to depend on
Honestly you’re just another source of pain to me
But my mind is just a constant reminder of our good times
Forgetting to remind me that its all a bad idea
Heartbreaker, backstabber, cheater, liar, two faced
I’m done, I’m through with you have done nothing but harm
And I’ve come to finally figure it out
I don’t need you like I thought I did
But this is just poetry in the making
So why do I always take you back?
One minute you’re here helping me
But after you help me you’re no where to be found for weeks
In my eyes you’re worthless and not worth another breathe of mine
Yet I cant stop myself from wanting to run your way
I’m stronger than I believe but nothing seems to be achieved in my life anymore
Yep I’m looking like a freak, trying not to be weak
but its so hard when all I want is someone to sweet talk me into believing that I’m being irrational and life will turn out fine.
But I realized that’s a lie.
It’s only poetry in the making right?
Everyone seems to say they’ll be there and they care
But no one but maybe one is in sight but
It’s all right.
They’ve all done it before I’ve become numb to who they say they are and used to be
Thank god the starts don’t judge us what we do under them unlike the ones we label friends.
Starting over ya know?
Maybe I deserve it
Maybe I’m even just that sad of an individual
Or you’re all just wanting to break me down
And watch me break down
But I’m not broken so stop trying to act like you’ll fix me
I assure you, this is just poetry in the making.
Wish you’d only hold me as high as you hold your pride
I’m not like a typical girl you can all just toss around like a beanie ball
I may bounce back but I can still crack
I have strived and been through too much to back down now
Now I can say I’m proud!
You’re all out of my life and showed me a lesson I’m glad I have learned
Knowing not everyone is worth what I once thought everyone deserved.
I came up from being so low feeling stronger than ever
And nothing can make me that low again
Oh that snap you heard? Don’t worry just my sanity
After all, this is just poetry in the making.

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