Tantalize | Teen Ink

Tantalize

March 5, 2013
By compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.


I lay my head gently up on the plush pillow
Thoughts swarm my lorn mind
I raise my head nimbly from the sunken pillow
For i fear my thoughts disappear
I hold my pen cold on to the crinkled paper
To free my thoughts
But oh stalled am i!!!



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This article has 11 comments.


on Mar. 16 2014 at 9:00 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

YOu got it!

Phoenix. said...
on Feb. 15 2014 at 4:12 am
Phoenix., Pittsfield, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 93 comments
This reminds me of some of the nights when your head is just flooded with writers block. :P

on Jul. 1 2013 at 1:53 am
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

This is nice. Very good work

on May. 24 2013 at 2:13 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

Thats sounds very nice! Thank you so much for the thought!

on May. 23 2013 at 4:29 pm
LiraDaeris PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I think the pillow should be warm. Clashing that with the cold paper could add a nice icing flower to this decadent cake of a poem. Good job :D

GreyGirl ELITE said...
on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:40 am
GreyGirl ELITE, Pohang,Kyungbuk, Other
170 articles 122 photos 392 comments
I like this poem, but I think that you repeat the part about the pillow too much. and "stalled am I" sounds a little unnatural. Otherwise, good poem! Keep it up :)

on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:31 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

its ok no problem :) thanks for the review

on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:28 am
Just-Another-Girl GOLD, Keighley, Other
17 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
- "A coward may survive...but a hero..a hero lives on in the hearts of the people he saved"

- "Words don't have the power to hurt people, unless the person who said it means a lot"

-
You say that love is nonsense. I tell you it is no such thing._

Firstly, i like the context in which you are trying ti explain, its very relatable so those who read it will under stand what you mean. However iI feel the adjectives used do not fit and you read head an  pillow twice in one sentence. It takes the whole magical aspect away from the poem, sorry for such negativity on such a beautiful poem. Good luck making it even better. All the best. Courtney 

on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:04 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

Thank you so much for your beautiful review. I am happy to know that you can connect :)

on Mar. 15 2013 at 9:09 am
theforgotenone GOLD, Willmington, Delaware
12 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
life is a book you dont want to fill it up to fast just make it last

i can really see allot of emotion from such little words i like that and i know how that feels

simmi said...
on Mar. 15 2013 at 7:46 am
simmi, Krishna Nagar, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
love what u do do wat u luv...........

its gud  


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