the days when the sun forgot to rise

the day you left

i died inside

and i didn’t sleep for the 4 weeks
that followed—

every night i laid in my



bed


drawn to the cold spot beside me
where you used

to


sleep—



on the 21st day

you’d been gone


i only laid there
in your empty cold spot


and screamed
all night

i laid there and screamed for



days—

on the 27th day
i lost myself


and everything i thought i knew to the cold
spreading through my bones

i was devoid



completely devoid of warmth

your warmth—



i couldn’t find the will to breathe, i was






suffocating—
but as i held my breath


i finally closed my eyes

and slept through the night—



but i dreamt






of you—
i slept through that night

and the very next day




and the day after that



i slept for years


with only you in my dreams—


my body grew hollow


and though my mind was awake,

i was paralyzed—




i heard the





beep-----






beep------







beep-----




of the heart monitor

and the sound of hushed voices



it’ll be okay


don’t let go, stay with us




wake up


you’re safe



i love you


but i couldn’t wake up and i couldn’t


stop thinking of you

my destruction,
the means to my end



i heard promises

and i tried so hard



to speak


i---

i---



i---love---


and then nothing.

i couldn’t move my lips


and i was far too gone, far too numb

lost to you,


to your betrayal—
i was

comatose

all because you went


a

w


a


y

and broke my tiny

cheap


plastic



heart—
and now


i’m trapped inside this



perfect




shell
with nothing

to do but


dream of you.