your eyes

February 24, 2013
By jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments

your eyes are grey like ash
still warm from a fire
they pierce right through me
leaving me breathless and confused
exhausted
i can't resist you
i want you to lead me
in the dark
wherever you go
i will follow
you have no mercy
together we have no
regrets
I ve given you everything
everything i have left
please sever me off
make me forget....yes



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 10 comments.


migwam ELITE said...
on Apr. 22 2013 at 3:01 pm
migwam ELITE, Tumwater, Washington
240 articles 20 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow. The intensity of this simple poem reveals the emotion behind it. I love the comparisons you make- far from cliche. You have a great style, and I genuinely hope to see more from you!

SarahGrac3 said...
on Apr. 16 2013 at 7:15 pm
SarahGrac3, Rockford, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I loved this! It had so much meaning which was really impressive. I don't have any critiques.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 2:43 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I'm glad you like her work. What's your faovrite Kay Ryan poem?

on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:16 pm
jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments
i meant she lol

on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:13 pm
jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments
thanks for suggesting him, He's now one of my favorite poets

on Mar. 31 2013 at 9:49 pm
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
It's hard sometimes to write meaningful, short freeverse, but I really really liked your lines (especially the first two ~) and I liked the ending. Some of the wording was a little bit confusing but I think it sort of actually fits with your style of writing! Excellent job.

on Mar. 31 2013 at 10:55 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 861 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Wonderful! I ADORE the first two lines!! The ending was a bit of a twist, but I liked it! Continue to write as wonderfully as you do! BTW, these would make fantastic song lyrics.

on Mar. 29 2013 at 1:01 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

Beautiful and enrapturing.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 17 2013 at 10:35 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

You have Kay Ryan's simple yet sophisticated style. Can't wait for your future works. Do continue to write more stuff like this. Check out Kay Ryan's work to see what I mean if you don't know what I'm talking about. P.S She's last year's Pulitzer Prize winner for poetry (I think).

on Mar. 13 2013 at 10:49 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

This is so sad! I loved your imagery and your lack of capitalization, very clever :P


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!