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Never Really Wanted

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I guess I never really wanted you to say goodbye
I thought I did
And I waited for it
I waited for the freedom I thought it would bring
Then it came
And I didn’t feel free
I felt trapped
Trapped by my own doubts and fears
So I cried
I’m not sure what caused it
But I cried
And I let you see me
I’d never done that before, let a boy see me cry
But you didn’t know that
And I didn’t tell
I didn’t want to dive back in
I was too young for that again
And too scared
I thought I had moved on
But I guess deep down inside I hadn’t
But I knew one thing
I did not like what this goodbye felt like
They say when your heart breaks, that’s how you know you have one
Well now I know I have one
Without a doubt
But that’s all I know
Because other than that I am confused mess
But I think you finally understand that
And understand what it’s going to take
For me to put myself together
And you understand the risk you’re taking
And I could never be as brave as you
Because I’m too scared
But I guess that’s part of what makes you you
And that’s what I loved
And I guess I never really wanted to tell that goodbye




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