Drifter.

February 10, 2013
By Mimi15 PLATINUM, Belfast, Maine
Mimi15 PLATINUM, Belfast, Maine
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments

You stood tall as I collapsed into the breeze.
It was an effortless transition: from lost to carried.
You were always someplace beyond the air.
You’d transcended the human need of oxygen.
The oxygen that danced and spun all around everywhere.
The movement would settle. Yes, eventually it would.
I’d been promised.
And I clung to this promise as my most crucial truth.
I was getting dizzy.
I liked to breathe in the breeze.
The air was sweet on me, never leaving me alone.
Gliding into my nostrils.
Never forgetting soft midnight kisses.
Wind sways as it pleases. To be free’s the point.
But, for you, the point’s to pinpoint all the points
Of all the things which have no meaning at all.
You should experience airy whims.
They’re the start of all stories!
You’ve claimed to have no use of stories.
You are a statistician: no musings needed here.
Well, the breeze hugs me tight and responds to you:
And, no rigid digits here, dear.
I say there is no boundary of pressure.
Instead, boundaries distinguish
Your known numbers from my windy wonderings.
But where those lines lie are in the air.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1 comment.


on Aug. 9 2015 at 6:26 pm
gladinorsk SILVER, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
7 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." Psalm 16:2

(I'm not clumsy. I just do random gravity checks...Yep, still works!)

I like the overarching metaphor of wind/air, which, I assume, means spontaneous ideas/imagination. It's very original and well-written. Since I'm very interested in personality typing, I particularly enjoyed this little commentary on 2 very different personalities. :) Your beginning intrigued me; I desperately wanted to read the rest to understand the meaning of lines 3-6. However, I felt very confused until around line 23, when you start explaining. Then I went back and appreciated the beginning. I was really happy to find that your beginning wasn't just pretty, but meaningful, too. My favorite lines are 7-13. If oxygen means stories (or something like that), I like how lines 7-8 implies that stories are a very basic (and essential) part of the human existence, like oxygen, and that, therefore, it's that much more unbelievable that the "you" character doesn't need them. The layers of this are brilliant, especially when one reads the following 2 lines, which suggest that stories, or the start of stories, are everywhere. The last three lines are satisfying, especially the very last line. Overall, though it was confusing at first, I ended up really enjoying it! You've got talent!


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!