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Cream Soda

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I wish I lived back in the older days
When ice cream shops had bars and stool
Where kids hung out and deemed it "cool"
I wish they served old orange sicle bars
Or orange cream sodas



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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:45 pm
You have a really interesting idea, but I think you need to add a "payoff" moment at the end. While I read this, I thought that there was going to be this big, fantastic ending to tie it up, but there wasn't one. That will help you a lot!
 
Lightmountain replied...
Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:04 pm
on the contrary, i like the end.
 
kal.bel replied...
Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:42 am
Thank you tons(:
 
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