Stupid Naive Love

January 16, 2013
By 7_Ambitions GOLD, Bronx, New York
7_Ambitions GOLD, Bronx, New York
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments

You promised me forever
Naive as could be i believed you
i trusted your every word
i never knew you'd leave me to hurt
thought our hearts beat as one
but i confused that with your tactics
thought our hearts made a pleasant beat
but now all i hear is static
shame on me i was fooled again
love is a master
its could never let me win
i guess its my fault
i should have never let you in
i feel my heart shattering
but the feeling is ever so common
My face is so used to
all the tears, of me sobbing
stupid me, to have faith in you
i should've seen it in you
but i'm not phyic
i had no clue
my heart is permanently scarred
i wear my head on my arms
tears run endlessly
and only hurt runs in me
i'm so hurt and so weak
stupid and naive
i make too many mistakes
and i am not perfect
maybe thats the reason you don't see me as worth it
maybe thats the reason i'm always left hurting
the reason i'm always left with used to be
and it always end in you without me
and pain is never an absentee
my space in the window
never misses me
because i'm never gone to long
i know every word to that break up song
every time
i know the outcome
but love i just can't keep from
i know there lies but i still believe
thats i would just pretend
than happiness can be achieved
i trusted in you
and lost trust in me
silly stupid me
i stare at my scars
and then i go in for more
i want love
but not this way
love can't be betrayed
because i need it
i feen it
even though i often hurt
and treated like dirt
i still believe somewhere there's hope
even though the clouds are grey
i can't predict a rainy day
so i fall in traps
give love a break perhaps ?
but i just can't break free !

The author's comments:
This piece was inspired by so much in my life .

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This article has 7 comments.

jess14 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 2:16 pm
jess14 BRONZE, New York, New York
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We accept the love we think we deserve"

wow omg omg this is so amazing i once had a boyfriend and he dumped me and i felt like this please keep writn gyou are an inspire to us all 

on Apr. 5 2013 at 2:14 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Great job totally skilled!!!! yo u got talent keep it up be ambitious

mnm08 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 1:22 pm
mnm08 BRONZE, Grande Prairie, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A writer needs the industry of an ant, the creativity of a kitten and the hid of an armadillo."- Author Unknown

that was really well written and i loved the emotion in the piece :) rlly amazing, great job!

on Apr. 3 2013 at 6:43 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hi! The vocabulary in here is very good, just make sure to proof-read! There is a clear beat in here and the poem flows pretty nicely. It does not feel like the ryhmes were forced, so that's really good. I think this is a really good poem, keep it up! Xx!

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Apr. 3 2013 at 5:45 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

I loved this poem! It was very sad but thorough and strong. My fav part was "i still believe somewhere there's hope even though the clouds are grey i can't predict a rainy day so i fall in traps give love a break perhaps ? but i just can't break free !" It was very good, but maybe making it a little shorter would make it even better :)

on Apr. 3 2013 at 12:28 pm
laurengerhard SILVER, South Windsor, Connecticut
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am gone quite mad with the knowledge of accepting the overwhelming number of things I can never know, places I can never go, and people I can never be." -Sylvia Plath

There's a few words that are spelt wrong or are the wrong form of the word... Other than that, you did well. I like your ideas. Just make sure to proofread thoroughly.

on Jan. 24 2013 at 4:18 pm
kaitlynisweird SILVER, Portsmouth, New Hampshire
5 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I liked the poem and unfortunately, it's very relateable. Let me give you a word of advice - you can take it if you want, but you don't have to because the poem's yours, not mine. I personally think this poem's a bit repetitive, not in terms of the actual words, and phrases, but in terms of the point. Like, I got the poem almost from the beginning, and it kind of dragged on. If you want to shorten it a little bit to the most powerful lines, I'd suggest doing that. This is just constructive criticism - overall I liked it! 


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