All of these poems I wrote during times in which I felt a lot of emotion, be it love, hate, confusion, etc. I hope to show others that they are not alone in what they're going through as a teenager, a human. Chapter 1: Part One My Beloved

Orange and brown
Spattered over a pelt
Of the deepest black
And the whitest white

Mesmerizing, mysterious
Yellow green eyes
Then seem to peer
Into your very soul

With gleaming white whiskers
That turn silver in the light

And sharpened claws
Ready to tear flesh
Or simply hide
In their sheaths

She curls up with me
Under the warm covers
I feel her back press against my thigh

She gently rumbles
As she purrs
A purr
That sounds
Like a motorcycle
Far off in the distance

I peer at her
And she peers at me
I smile and suppress a laugh
When she mews at me
And flips onto her back,
Exposing her belly for me to stroke

She attacks my arm
I had fallen for her trick
Yet again
She bites and claws
As I yelp in pain
I let my arm go limp,
Playing dead
She release my arm
I stroke her head
As she resumes her purring

I bury my face
In her soft fur
She purrs a purr
That soon lures me to sleep

I am her kit
As much as she is mine
I am her mother
As much as she is mine

Write off the Page
There are many things i could write about.

Cats and tigers,
Friends and friendship
Family and love
Day and night
The moon and the sun

What should i write about
With so many topics
Going round and round
In my head

What should i write about
When writing off the page

Light and Dark

Day with light
Light with day
Dark with night
Night with dark

Light symbolizes
New starts to new days
While dark symbolizes
Death and sadness

Why doesn't light symbolize
Blinding pain?
Why doesn't darkness symbolize
The peacefulness
Of sleep?
Day and light
Night and ark
Light and dark
Day and night

Sleep

As sleep
Lures me to bed
I wonder
About the day ahead

Will it be filled
With pain and misery?
Or joy
And happiness?

As sleep
Lures me to bed
I wonder
About the day ahead

Faolan

He jumps so high
Into the sky
Simply a streak of silver
Amongst the reds and blacks
Of the volcanoes

I remember
Seeing that silver streak
Leap over a wall
Of blazing flames
That seem to jump at him
As if they too
Want him dead

This is Life

Blundering through the night
With nowhere to go
Is what most of life is

And emerging into the light
Of the blessed day
Is the few moments
Of perfect peace and joy

Rain

Rain
Falling from the dark sky
And landing on all of Earth
Thus connecting
The never intersecting
Sky and Earth

If I were like rain
Would I be able
To connect with someone’s heart
Like the rain
Connects the never intersecting
Sky and Earth?

Would I bring light to someone’s day
By blessing their garden?
Would I bring misery into their heart by ruining
Their picnic?

If I were like rain
Would I be able to connect with someone’s heart
Like the rain connects
The never intersecting
Sky and Earth?

Falling

I’m falling
Falling
Into a pit
Of misery
And despair

Why
Am I falling
Into this pit?

What
Did I ever do
To deserve
This amount
Of pain,
Of misery,
Of suffering?

I’m falling
Falling
Into a pit
A never ending journey
To the bottom

War

What is the point
To war?
Killing
Slaughtering
And all for what?

Millions of people die
Over a simple,
Teeny tiny
Disagreement. that could’ve
Been resolved
Over the phone

But, if there had been no wars
We wouldn’t be
Who we are today
Right...?

Done

I’ve helped
And changed
I think I am done

I’ve given advice
And answered questions
I think I am done

I think I am done
But in the end
The decision
Is not mine to make

So I ask you,
My dear friend,
Am I done?

Am I done
Helping and changing?

Am I done
Giving advice and answering questions?

I think I am done
But in the end
The decision
Is not mine to make

So I ask you,
My dear friend,
Am I done?

Who Am I?

Truly, who am I?

I love what I love
I hate what I hate

But what does it matter?

Anyone could have
The same
Loves and hates
As I

So truly, what makes me, me?
So truly, what makes you, you?

I Miss You

I love you with all my heart
That’s why I hate
When we’re apart

When you are not by my side
You fill my thoughts
And I can’t fully focus on anything
For very long
Without thinking of you

Is this strange, what I’m saying?

But as long as you know
That I will
Always give my life
To protect yours
I am happy

I miss you
For you are not
By my side

But I am happy
For now you know
That I will give my life
To protect yours

Boom Boom Boom

Some girls went to the park one day
To find a deadly fate at bay

Boom Boom Boom
The lights go out

They’re lost
They’re gone
They’re dead

No murders and no suicide
Nothing of the sort
Boom Boom Boom
The lights go out

Your lost
Your gone
Your dead

Now and Forever

Now and forever
I will love you
Even when we fight

Now and forever
I will be your best friend
I will be the kind of best friend
That supports and help you
No matter what

Now and forever
I will be your sister
The kind of sister
That you can tell
Anything and everything to

Now and forever
I will fight for you
Even when you can’t fight for me

Now and forever
I will share everything with you
From the smallest cookie
To the biggest dreams

Now and forever
I hope we can not only be friends
But sisters as well

Now and forever
No one will ever break
The bond that we share

Did You Know

Did you know
That I love you
With all of my heart,
And all of my soul?

Did you know
That I can’t bear
To be without you?

Did you know
That when I see you
My heart skips a beat?

Did you know
That I will always die for you,
No matter what?

Did you know
That when we fight
I feel as if I’m dying
On the inside?

Did you know
That when you say ‘I hate you’,
Even when we are playing around,
I feel sad?

Did you know
That I hope you love me
As much as I love you?

Did you know
That I will never stop loving you
Even after your death?

Did you know
That I want you to look at me
After reading this
And say
‘I feel the same way about you’?

Why?

You beat her
And hate her

Yet you keep going back
And beg to be forgiven

She forgives you
I do not know why

You hurt her again and again
She forgives you again and again

This cycle must stop
Or I will kill you

So I hate you
I hate you for hurting her

By hurting her,
You kill me

Yet why do we still get along?
How do we get along?

At school your eyes shoot daggers at me
And you growl as I pass

Why and how
Do we not kill each other
Outside of school?

Why are we friends out of school,
But not in?

When You Go

When I see you go
My heart breaks
But I learn to move on

I want to cry
For fear that you might never
Come back
And that you had left me behind
But I learn to move on

I know that leaving me
Was your choice
And I still wonder
What I did wrong

What have I done
To make you leave?
Why do you insist
On breaking my heart?
+
But I don't care
For I won't talk to you
So you can't
Spread gossip

But I don't care
For I hate you
So you can't break
My heart

But I don't care
For now I know you are mean
So you can't
Hurt me

I used to think many things
But now I know many things
But I don't care about you

Photo

I look
At this photo
And smile

Remembering
The instant
It was taken

Laughter had filled the air
As we kept taking
Bad photos

Finally,
At the last second,
A usable photo
Is taken

I say good-bye
And watch them leave
Smiling

I look back
At that day
At that photo

And hope
To remember
That instant
Forever

Forgive and Forget

They say
To forgive
And forget
To forget
And forgive

But they’re wrong because
Sometimes we mustn’t
Forgive and forget

If I forgave you
For everything
You did to me
You would hurt me again

If I forgot
The pain
You caused me
You would hurt me again

So I will ignore them
And I will never
Forgive you
Or forget
What you did

My Gift To You

I have searched
Everywhere
For the perfect gift
To get you
But to no avail

So I am writing
This poem
Instead

I hope
That you will cherish this
More than something from the store


When You're Away

When you're away
Everything loses it’s color

When you're away
Nothing matters

When you're away
My heart aches for you

When you're away
I want to find a corner and hide

When you're away
I don’t care about anything

When you're away
I’m truly emo

You're The Reason Why

You're the reason why
I’m not afraid to spread my wings
And soar away from comfort

You're the reason why
I am more independent
Than when we first met

You're the reason why
I can meet new people
And not be shy

You're the reason why
I’ve started to show
My true self

Thank you
For making me who I am


I Can

I can get up on that stage
And perform
Because I know
That you will be watching

I can sing that song
On the radio, or on my own
Because I know
You will be listening

I can do what I do
Because you helped me
Become myself

I See In You

You may think
That you need to change
But you don’t

In you
I see a future
Best-selling author
Even if you don’t

In you
I see a caring
And loving friend
Even if you don’t

In you
I see a perfect you
That you must learn
To show


The Way You Are

You may think
That you need to change
But you don’t

You are perfect
The way you are
No matter what those mean people say

You don’t need
To change at all
So please don’t
Changing
Will do you more harm
Than good

Please don’t change
While you still don’t know
Your true self

If someone
Tells you
You need to change
They are lying

Anyone who tells you
You need to change
Doesn’t know you
Like I do

So don’t change
No matter what others may say
Because your perfect
The way you are

And I know that better
Than anyone else


Let Me Fall

No help
Is coming my way
So let me fall

No love
Is being sent my way
So let me fall

Let me fall
Into the dark
Into the pain
Away from the world

Love


Before
I fade into nothing
Please love me

I am nothing
To anyone
But you are my everything

Please love me
Before
I stop accepting
Any emotion
From anyone

Even you,
My everything


Anything For You

Ask me
To do anything
And I will

Ask me
To run a marathon
And I will

Ask me
To give you a hug
And I gladly will

Ask me
For help
And I will help

Ask me
To go die
And I will

Anything for you
My love

Keep Going

We must always persevere
And put the past behind us
And be open
To new ideas and dreams

Staying in the past
Will only burden us
So put the past behind us

We must work together
Through good time
And bad

We must persevere
No matter what

Good-Bye

The time has come
To say good-bye
Who knew
It would be so hard?

You have made your choice
To leave as all behind
As much as I hate to
I say good-bye

I want you to stay
But I can’t force you
So good-bye

The time has come
To say good-bye
I’m glad
That I’ve had the chance
To know you

Saying good-bye
Is hard
But it must be done

So good-bye
My dearest friend

True Friends

We will stand by you
No matter what

We will always love you
No matter what

Please don’t go away
We will miss you

Please don’t close your heart
And push you away

I will stand by you
No matter what

I will always love you
No matter what

Please don’t go away
I will miss you

Please don’t close your heart
And push me away

You’ve Done It This Time


You’ve broken her
Time and time again

Every time you broke her
I fixed her

But this greatest break
Has left long-lasting damage

I do my best
To help her

But I don’t know
If I can repair her

You’ve done it this time

Cry

We take
Oh so many things
For granted

Energy
Money
Water
Food

But one thing
We never think about
And even hate
Is tears and crying

Crying
When your sad
Or elated
Or angry

Gives us a chance to let out
All our pent up emotions

Not being able to cry
Is rare
But it’s something I suffer from

I miss
Crying when I’m sad
Whether I’m alone
Or with the person I cherish the most

I miss
Crying
And being held close
By whoever is near

I miss
That pleasant feeling
That comes after a sob
That feeling
Of letting out all my emotion

We take so many things
For granted
One of which
Is crying
And being hold close
By those who you love

So cry when you must
And let out that emotion
Before you explode
And lose the ability to cry

Garden Of Life

Enemies and rivals
Are thorns
In the Garden Of Life

Troubles and worries
Are weeds
In the Garden of life

Families
Are grand trees
In the Garden of Life

Friends
Are flowers
In the Garden of Life

You
Are the brightest
Flower
In my Garden Of Life

You
Are a part
Of my Family Tree
In my Garden Of Life

You
Take away
The weeds
In my Garden Of Life

Dreams

You tell me
Your dreams
Your goals
And I smile

I tell you
To reach
Those goals
And don’t let anyone
Get in the way
And I smile

I tell you
To make those dreams
Come true
No matter what
And I smile

Just remember
A single smile
Can hide
A thousand tears

Pain (Over Time)

It doesn’t hurt
When it’s all you’ve ever felt

Over time
You learn
To smile again

Over time
You stop
Crying yourself to sleep
Every night

Over time
You learn
How to hide
Your inner tears
From others

Over time
You stop feeling the pain
That you’ve always felt
And always will feel

By Your Side

By your side
Is where I belong
Until the universe ends
And you hate me
And wish my death

By your side
Is where I am
Truly happy
Without a care in the world

By your side
Is where I feel
The safest
Because I know you’ll protect me

By your side
Is where I feel
The most hostile
Ready to give my life
To protect yours
By your side
Is where I feel
The need
To make sure your happy
At all costs

By your side
Is where I feel
The saddest
Because I know
The moment
Won’t last

And I know
That the day will come
When we won’t
Be by each others sides
Anymore

Dear God,
I’m begging you
Please don’t separate us
Until the universe ends
A million times over
In Jesus name I pray
Amen

Notice Me and my Pain

I stare
Out the window
Watching you laugh
At her stupid jokes

I look away
Pain filling me
I wish you were by my side
And not hers
Because it is when
Your with her
That she hurts you


All that time
Healing your wounds
That she had made
Was apparently a waste

You finally join me
At the last second
And greet me
I barely respond

You ask if I’m okay
And I say “No, I’m just tired”
A little too fast
Why didn’t you notice?

When I’m obviously
In pain
No one sees
As if they don’t care

They all seem
To not care
To not notice
To not love

Please
Notice me
And my pain

Do You Care?

“But you won’t,
Because you love me
Too much”

That’s what people say
To those
Whom love them
But they don’t love back

It’s also
What you say
Too me
On days
I’m already filled
With pain
And sadness

Do you know?
Do you care?
Do you even love?

You always
Go back to her
The one
That hurt you
Over and over again

You always
Leave me behind
The one
That healed you
Over and over again

Do you know?
Do you care?
Do you even love?

I always wonder
If you love me
As much as I
Love you
All the time

When I tell you
“I love you”
And you never
Respond
And I am left to wonder
If you even love me back

Do you know?
Do you care?
Do you even love?

I always wonder
And hope
You will answer
Truthfully
And honestly
No matter what
Your answer may be

And hope
That all I’ve done
To heal your wounds
That she made
Was not done
In vain

I’m Finished

I’m finished
Helping and healing
Because apparently
It’s all being done in vain

You keep going back
After your wounds have healed
Begging her
To reopen them
And create new ones

So I’m done
So I’m finished
Doing things
In vain

Anything is a waste
Of time
And energy
When done in vain

I’ll stop
Helping and healing
Giving advice and warning
Since you don’t take it to heart
Or heed them

From now on
I’m done
I’m finished
With doing things
In vain

From now on
I’m done
I’m finished
With helping and healing
In general
And no one can change that


Unnecessary Thoughts

Stare
Into the rain
Letting the drops
Pound down

Hope
Happiness
Faith
Love
Trust
Care

It all
Is washed away
By the rain

No regrets
Of letting the rain
Was away all
Unnecessary thoughts

Nightmares

Nightmares
Most dread them
I welcome them

Nightmares
Most wake up screaming
I wake up smiling

Nightmares we have
When sleeping
Are nothing
Compared
To the nightmare
We call life

So I call
The nightmares
That come with sleep
Pleasant dreams
For they
Are an escape
From life

Happy

People always say
That you need
Another person
To make you happy
But they lie

The only one
That can make you
Truly happy
Is yourself

So don’t cry
And whine
When people hurt you
Because that’s all they do

People always say
That you need
Another person
To make you happy
But they lie

Lonely

The world
Is full of people
So no one
Is never truly
Alone

So why
Do I feel
This feeling
Of being alone
Even when surrounded?

It feels
Like a black pit
In my heart
That steadily grows
Each and every day

Even when surrounded
By those who love me
I feel
The black pit
Grow

For now
I can keep promises
Of not hurting
But one day
I will be consumed
By the ever growing pit
And will be forced
To break
My promises

I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
But it’s true

Even now
The temptation
Grows ever stronger

So I write
And tell the world
My true feelings

So I talk
And laugh
Ignoring the pit

Hoping the temptations
Will go away
Even though
Deep down
I know
They never will

Scars

Scars
Of all kinds
Leave behind
A message
Of some sort

Emotional scars
Remind you
To never truly trust
Anyone

Physical scars
Remind you
To stand up
For yourself

Remember this
When at war
With yourself
Or with others

Swallow (Your Heart)

Swallow
Your heart
And walk away
I don’t care

I don’t care
That you refuse
To speak

I’ll just
Swallow
My heart
My mind
My soul
And walk away too



How Can I?

How can
I tell
People this?

This
Being things
That have
Been locked away
In my heart
For who knows
How long

These things
Are finally
Leaking out
And need to be told

I have given some
A taste
Of these things
Only enough
To get a second opinion
Or an exclamation
But that’s enough
To plant a seed
Of worry

I do not want
To nourish
That seed
So I say no more

If I say anymore
Not only would
I be nourishing that seed
They would send me
To another
Thinking
They are helping
But are truly
Only making things worse

I only wish
To tell them
But don’t want
To worry
Or burden them

My care
And love
For them
Causes me
To suffer
Alone

I’ll live
And push through
For as long as
They are happy
I’m perfectly fine too Chapter Notes: A lot of these are sad and emo-like. I am just relating to other people. We all go through the same things. Chapter 2: Part Two How Come?

How come
When I’m
At my saddest
You're not there
To comfort me?

How come
When I
Need help
You're not there
To help me?

How come
When I
Need you
You don’t
Need me?

How come
When I
Want to be with you
You don’t
Want to be with me?

I Need You

I need you
To be by my side
And stop this pain

I, personally,
Can only deal
With one person's problems
At a time
That leaves me
With no time
For my problems

I need you
To help me heal
And stop this pain

I can cry
But only when I’m with you
I can only
Pour my heart out
To you

I need you
To be by my side
To help me heal
And stop this pain

How Do I Heal?

I want to heal
Truly, I do
But I can’t
On my own

I need help
To heal
Or do I?

How can I heal
When I don’t know
How to heal?

Must I
Go off
Alone?

Must I
Heal others
Every day?

Must I
Cry myself
To sleep?

Must I
Cause myself
Physical pain?

Must I
Pour out
My heart?

Must I
Get help
From others?

What must
I do
To heal?

In The End

In the end
I’ll always
Love you to death

In the end
I’ll always
Want to be with you

In the end
I’ll always
Give my life for you

Can you
Say the same
To me?

Tragedy

They always come
When you least expect

Life may be
Perfect for a time
But soon
A tragedy
Will ruin it

But
What most
Don’t realize
Is that
Love and hate
Can also bring these on

Love
The reason why
Is obvious
Or is it...?

Hate
The reason why
Is obvious
Or is it...?

Love Brings on Tragedy

Love
Brings on
Tragedy

It may not be
Relationship troubles
Oh, no

It may be
That you simply
Love someone
Too much

And
In loving them
You hurt yourself

In hurting yourself
You bring on
Tragedy

I Need To Get This Out

I need
To get this out
I need to talk
To someone

Preferably
Someone
Who cares

But
What if
I can’t tell
That person?

I think
I won’t tell
Anyone

But then
I’ll want to cut
I’ll want to die
And I won’t want to talk

So maybe
I will tell
But if I do
I’ll tell
Someone
Who might not care
As much
But will still listen

Fly Away

Fly away
Fly away fast
Fly away fast
Broken heart
And broken feelings

Fly away fast
On the wings
They gave you
Ignore the break
They made

I have no need
For your broken pieces
Anymore
So fly away
Fly away fast
Broken heart

Fly away
Broken heart
Fly away fast
On the wings
They gave you

If I find
That I need you
I’ll find you
Simply by following
The trail of blood

Dragon’s Eye

Dragon’s eye
Sharp
And quick

Always watching
The dragon’s eye
Watching all it sees

Nothing
Can escape
The dragon’s eye

Its deep green
Or deep red?
Or is it a bright gold?

No one knows
The true color
Of the dragon’s eye

For when
The dragon’s eye
Rests its gaze on you

There is no escape
No, no escaping
The dragon’s eye

Envy

Once
That seed
Is planted
It doesn’t die

Envy
An evil thing
That roots itself
In people’s hearts
And refuses to leave

It can be ignored
But that
Will not make it
Go away

Envy
We must learn
To live with it
And try to suppress it
But it will never
Ever
Go away

I’m Fine

You ask me
If I’m okay
And I nod
Not letting
You see
My inner pain

You ask me
How I’m doing
And
With a smile
I say
“Great, just a little tired”
And you assume
I’m talking about sleep

Beloved Bird

Beloved bird
Your song
So sweet
So gentle
So piercing

Beloved bird
You're beauty
Contained inside
Never to be free

Beloved bird
You're personality
So soft
And nice
Even when caged

Beloved bird
Your patience
Will be awarded
With freedom
One day

Piercing Cage

Life
Is full
Of all kinds
Of cages

There are the cages
That others create
For us
In a vain attempt
To keep us safe
And make us happy

There are the cages
That we create
For ourselves
To keep us
From getting hurt

But
That piercing cage
We create
For ourselves
Always backfires

Everyone creates
This cage
At some point
In life

Some people’s
piercing cages
Are stronger
Than others

Is that good?
I cannot say
For only the owner
Of the cage
Can say for sure

So tell me
Dear friend
How strong
Is your cage?

Living Death

Some believe
In heaven
And hell
As do I

But what
Do we know?

For all
We know
We might
Be dead

For some
They have seemingly
Already entered
Heaven

For others
They are already
Living
In hell

That’s It

That’s it
I’m done

The bonds
Holding my heart
Together
Have finally snapped

I can’t resist
The blades
Any longer

I have too let
The blood pour
In order
To keep my mind off
The emotional pain

Go ahead
Send me away
But I’ll only
Refuse to say
Why I cut

That’s it
I’m done

I’m done
Telling you
My thoughts

Because
Your reaction
Is too much
For me to bear

And will only
Make things
Even worse

Literally

All I write
Is true

All I write
Is literal

So go back
And reread

Reread the poems
In a new light

Call My Name

Call my name
And take me away

Take me away
From these horrors

Please hurry
And call my name

Call for me
And hold me close

Whisper my name
As we fall to sleep

Don’t let the wind
Carry away my name

Give me a chance
To catch my name

Hesitate

Don’t hesitate
In life

There is so much
To do
To see
To love
To hate
To say

So don’t hesitate
No matter what
Jump into life
With renewed energy
Everyday

Don’t let anything
Stop you
From diving head first
Into life

Don’t hesitate
To do what you need to
To see what you need to
To love what you need to
To hate what you need to
To say what you need to

Don’t Be Mad

Please
Don’t be mad
At me

When people get mad
At me
I shatter
I break
And I can’t heal

I am only
Trying to get help
You should be happy

Be happy
That I’m finally
Trying to get help

But it’s too late
It’s too late
To take back
Your words

Even if
You’re not mad
You sound like it

I’ve already shattered
I’ve already broken
And I still can’t heal

I’m Alone

I’m surrounded
By loved ones
But I’m still alone

I push through life
Seemingly happy
Truly lonely

I put on a tough face
Not letting anyone see
My pain

I don’t know why
I feel so alone

Maybe
It’s because
I can’t tell anyone
How I truly feel

Maybe
It’s because
I’m the only one
Who feels this way

I don’t know
Why I feel
So alone

Armed
With this knowledge
Of never knowing
I push through life

Making the best
Of what I can
I push through

Helping others
Stay happy
I push through

Sometimes I wish
That I will finally find someone
Who can truly relate

Sometimes I wish
Never to find
That person

What helps
Lessen the loneliness

Is being with
One of whom
I love

But only one
For being in a large crowd
Makes me feel
Even more alone

I don’t know why
That happens

Maybe it’s because
In large groups
I’m often ignored

Maybe it’s because
I hate large groups
Of people

I don’t know
Why
It’s like that

Armed
With this knowledge
Of never knowing
I push through life

Crying Sky

Crying sky
Let your tears pour
Rain down
On us all

Crying sky
Let your cries
Ring out
So we can all hear

Crying sky
Don’t go
And leave
A simple rainbow behind

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

I’m sorry
For all I did
For all I said

No,
I’m not
Taking anything back
Or saying
I didn’t mean any of it

I did mean it
And I did do it
There’s no denying that

All I want
Is to not
Repeat the past
And make meaningless apologies

That said
When I say
I’m sorry
I mean it

When I said
Those things
I meant it too

I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

I know
That if
We fix everything
It will never be the same

If you decide
To move on
Without me
Okay

If you decide
To be friends
With me
Okay

Truly
I don’t mind
Either way
It’s your choice

How To Fix

How much glue
Does it take
To fix
A broken heart?

How much tape
Will it take
To hold
The pieces together?

How long
Will it take
To sew myself
Back up?

Pass Your Judgement

Hurry
Pass your judgement
Fast

Judge me
And decide
Where will I go
From here

Heaven
Or Hell

Love
Or hate

Life
Or death

Friends
Or enemies

Please hurry
And pass
Your judgement

The Blood

A deep crimson
Thick
And warm
Blood
Steadily flows
Out of the wound

The blood
Flows down
Leaving
A deep crimson trail
In its wake

It pools
At the crook
In my elbow
I gently lick up
The blood

Peering
Into the darkness
As if
Something might try
To steal
My feast

I hold
The blood stained blade
Close to my heart

Daring the darkness
To take it away
Forever

I Do Miss

I do miss you

Whenever
I am reminded
Of you
I start to cry

I miss
You're scent
You're laugh
You're voice

Maybe
I am exaggerating
Maybe
I’m not

Have You Noticed I’ve Taken To

Have you noticed
I've taken
To someone else?

If no,
I’m telling you now

If yes,
Why don’t you comment?

I can’t help
But become closer
To this someone

They understand me
Like you never did

I understand them
As well

We are more alike
Than you and I
Ever were
And ever will be

Explain

I can't explain.
Not to you anyway

How can I
Explain things
To you

When you
Are the one
Im explaining?

I hope that makes sense
I hope that went through
I hope you understand

Changed

I've changed
Grown up
Matured

This
Is what I believe
Tore us apart

I've matured
Become stronger
Smarter

You
Have not
You still make
The same mistakes
In spite of it all

I've learned
From my mistakes
And have become
A better person

I've grown
Matured
You
Have not

Even though
You listened
To all of my lectures
To all my advice
You still make
The same mistakes

You are still
Childish
Goofy
Foolish

I’m sorry
But I live
With people
Like that
Childish
Goofy
Foolish

More time
With people
Like that
Irritates me
Angers me
Annoys me

I’m sorry
But I can’t help
But change
Into my true self

True Strength

True strength
Comes
From true pain
From true heartbreak
From true fear

You can beat me
Break me
Hurt

Yeah
It’ll hurt
But only for a moment

All that you say
All that you do
Won’t do a thing

Treat me
Like dirt
Beat me
Like a dog
I don’t care

All you're doing
Is making me
Stronger
Better
Smarter

So I thank you
For all the pain
You’ve caused me
For it has
Made me stronger

By beating me
You make me stronger
By talking mean to me
You make me smarter

Now
When you beat me
And treat me like dirt
It’ll only hurt
For a second
And the next
I’m stronger


One day
I’ll beat you
Like you beat me

One day
I’ll treat you
Like you treat me

And you
Won’t recover
Not now
Not ever

Your life
Of luxury
Of never experiencing
True pain
Will have made you weak

For me
A lifetime
Of pain
Of heartbreak
Will have made me strong

True strength
Comes
From true pain
From true heartbreak
From true fear

Can’t Escape

We can
Create escapes
From some things

Like school
And work
Family
And even friends

But
There are
Some things
That we can’t escape from
What would that be, you ask?
Ourselves.

We can’t escape
Our own minds
Our own bodies
Our own souls

It’s impossible
Even in death

So we can never
Escape the pain
We feel

We can never
Escape the heartbreak
We experience

That
Is what drives us
To kill others
And ourselves

That
Is what drives us
To hurt others
And ourselves

To us
The physical pain
Is a temporary escape
From the emotional pain

We are misunderstood
By others
But what do we care?
Why should we care?

They will never
Have to go through
What we do

They will never
Have to feel the pain
That we do

They
Should leave us alone
Instead of prying
And making things worse

So what
We don’t care
That you're trying to help
To us
You're only screwing things up even more

So please
Leave us
To our own devices

At this point
We cannot be helped
We cannot heal
We cannot escape
Ourselves


What Point is There

What point
Is there
To life?

As of now
There is none

All means
Of happiness
Have left me

My heart
Broken
Beyond repair

My mind
Confused
And frustrated

The people
Whom I love
Only tear me down
On purpose
Or on accident
I may never know

When
Your loved ones
Break your heart
Beyond repair
There is
No point
To life

Showers

The jets
Pound
Into my back
A comforting feeling
I watch the steam
Rise around me

Comfort
And happiness

I yelp
As a bar of soap
Or bottle falls
I jump
To the side
Nearly falling

An unexpected
Turn of events

Masks

We all know
Who we truly are
And most of us
Don’t want others to know
Our true selves
So we wear masks

Masks
We wear them
Everyday
Some of us
Change them
Everyday
Others every week

One thing
That’s for sure
Is that you never
Wear a mask twice

Some
Wear masks
To hide pain

Some
Wear masks
To hide anger

The reasons
For wearing masks
What hides
Behind the masks

The only people
Who know
The reasons
And what’s hiding
Is the person
Wearing
A mask

No two masks
Are the same
Once one
Is worn
It is thrown away
For good

Needs
Wants
Reasons
What’s hiding

It all
Changes
Be it
Every day
Every week
Every minute

Masks
We wear them
Everyday
Most
Without
Even realizing it

Hardest to Love

The hardest ones
To love
Are the ones
Who need it most

Why is that
You ask?

We put up
A wall
Around our hearts
Denying love
From any and all

We do that
To prevent
More pain
And heartbreak

But we still need
To love
And be loved
Even though
We try to avoid love
At all costs

While
We don’t tell
Others
That we deny love
They sense it
And find it hard
To love us
Therefore

The hardest ones
To love
Are the ones
Who need it most

Memories

All that time
That has passed
All it is now
Are memories

Memories
Of pain
And mistakes

Memories
Of anger
And hate

That’s all
They are now
Memories

Memories
Of happiness
And victories

Memories
Of love
And kindness

That’s all
They are now
Memories

All You Are Now

You used to be
My everything
The center
Of my universe

The ying
To my yang
The hip
To my hop
The rock
To my roll

Now
Someone else
Is my everything

All
You are now
Is a person
That I know

Soon
All you will be
Is a person
I used to know

I have
A new everything
A new center
For my universe


Even Though

My heart
May
Be whole again
But
There are still
Scars and wounds

Those scars
And wounds
Don't allow
For everything
to be okay

As
Said before
The only time
Everything
Is okay
Is when
I’m locked
In your embrace

Even though
My heart
Is whole

Even though
I’ve poured out
My heart

I still find
That all I want
Is to be
With you

Lucky There

Because
You're there
And i'm here
Nothing
Is okay

The only time
Everything
Is okay
Is when
I'm with you

You're there
I’m here
And there
Doesn't know
How lucky it is

To Lose You

Losing you
Would be the end
Of me

If I
Were to lose you
I would disappear

If you
Ever left me
My life
My universe
Would crumble

Without you
Living
Is pointless

All I want
Right now
Is to be locked
In your embrace

To cry
Into your shoulder
And hear you say
It'll be alright
That everything's okay
Even though
We both know
That's a lie

Honest With Yourself

Sometimes
All of us
Are too honest
With ourselves

sometimes
That's a good thing
Other times
Its bad

Being honest
Allows us
To make good choices

But
It also
Can ruin friendships

Heartaches

With you
I know
Who I am
And my heart
Is whole

When
I’m not
With you
I don’t know
Who I am

When
You’re away
My heart aches
To see you
To be with you
To hear you
To feel you

Anything
That reminds me
Of you
Makes my heart ache
Even more

One
Of these days
I’m going
To paint
“I miss you”
On a rock
And throw it at you

Maybe then
The ache
And bruise
The rock
Leaves
Will give you
A taste
Of how my heart feels
Away from you

Experience and Know

There
Are some things
In life
That we know
Others
That we experience
And both

Some
We must know
To experience
Like writing
Or talking

Others
We must experience
To know
Like being emo
Or cutting

Know
To experience
Or
Experience
To know

You Were Never

You
Were never
My everything

That’s
What I’ve
Come
To realize

We were never
Truly close

The proof
Is in
How I feel
Now
That we’ve grown apart

You
Were never
My sister

We
Were never
Truly close

How
Did we
Ever think
We were close?

Why
Did we
Ever say
We were sisters?


How Long Until...

How long
Until
She hurts you
Yet again?

Is the pain
That I’ve caused you
So great
That you’ve gone back to her?

Have I really
Hurt you
That much?

Is the pain
I cause you
That much greater
Than the pain
She causes you
Over and over again?

I’ve Decided

I’ve decided
To let you go
And not look back

We were never
Truly attached,
So why act like it?

I’ve decided
To move on
Even if you won’t Chapter Notes: A lot of these are sad and emo-like. I am just relating to other people. We all go through the same things. Chapter 3: Part Three How Many Times?

How many times
Will my heart break
Until
It becomes
Too much to bear?

How many times
Will somebody
Turn my heart
Into dust
And then fix it?

Again and again
My heart is broken

Again and again
My heart is fixed

How many times
Will my heart break
Before
It cannot be fixed?

Flowering Tree

A beautiful sight
A young tree
In the spring

Healthy
And whole
Covered
In tiny flowers

Pure white
And light pink
Pop
Against the greens

I watch
As flowers
Fall of the tree
And land in the wind

They blow away
On the wind
Taking with them
What was once
My heart

Let’s Go

Let’s go
Just you
And me

Let’s run away
Into the dark
Just us

Let’s escape
The prying eyes
Of others

Let’s run away
Into the darkness
Away from prying eyes

Let’s go
Just you
And me

Waiting

Waiting
But for what?

We are all
Waiting
For all things

Waiting
For the years
Months
And weeks
To finally pass

Or waiting
To leave
To come
To begin
To end

Waiting
But for wait?

Waiting
To be loved
To be hated
To be accepted
To be thrown out

We are all
Waiting
For anything
And everything

Forgiving

You’re
Too forgiving
Too nice
Too kind

In order
To survive
In this world
You can’t be
Any
Of those things
At least,
Not on a large scale

You can
Use those
As a mask

But
When not
A mask
They kill you

At heart
In order
To survive
You can’t
Be kind
Or nice
And forgiving
On a large scale

Maybe
Too one
Or two souls
But not
To all

Always Yours

I’ll always
Be yours
Nothing
Will ever change
That fact

Even if
I’m with
Someone else
If you call
I’ll come
Without
Hesitation

You call
I come
That’s how
It works

In rain
Or shine
In snow
Or flames
At midnight
Or noon

Night

Night
Shrouded
In the dark
With only
Star
And moonlight
To see by

Night
When the conscious mind
Sleeps
And the subconscious
Comes out to play

Night
The time
To sleep
And dream

Knowing the Unknown

What do we know
About ourselves
About others?
Nothing.

We tell ourselves
That we know
Everything
About ourselves
But we don’t

Knowing
The unknown
Unknowingly
Knowing the known

What Does it Mean To Love?

What does it mean
To love someone?

Does it mean
That you want
To protect them
With your life?

Is that love?

Does it mean
That you
Would never
Hurt them?

Is that love?

Does it mean
That you want
To hold them close
And never let go?

Is that love?

Does it mean
That you miss them
Even when
They’re close by?

Is that love?

What does it mean
To love someone
To care for someone
To protect someone
To always want to be with someone
To miss someone

Can you answer
All of those question
From the depths
Of your heart
Mind
And soul?

What does it mean
To love someone?

Abandoned

Please
Don’t leave me
On the curb
Where no one
Will give me
A second glance

Please
Don’t abandon me
Just because
She wants you too

Please
Do your best
To keep me close
And away
From the empty curb

Please
Don’t leave me alone
And force me
To relive
Those years
Of pain

Stupid

I was stupid
To let you go
To let you leave

Now
All I feel
Is pain

I understand
If you don’t
Want me back

Don’t be stupid
And take me back
Not after that pain

Even though
I apologize
And want you back

Don’t be stupid
Like I was
And let me come back

Secrets

Secrets
We all
Have them

Secrets
We all
Tell them

Secrets
Are meant
To be told

Secrets
Are meant
To be kept

How we tell them
How we acquire them
All vary
From person
To person

How well
We can keep them
Also
Varies

Secrets of love
Secrets of hate
Secrets of pain
Secrets of happiness

Secrets
Of all kinds
Shapes
And sizes
Live
In our hearts

I Have a Secret

I
Have a secret
But that isn’t
Surprising
Now is it?

For we all
Have secrets
Of our own

It is
A natural
Phenomena
That occurs
Every waking day
And every
Sleeping night

Some
Are meant
To be kept forever
While others
Are meant to be told

Secrets
Are simply
Not secrets
Without having been caged
Before being
Set free

I
Have a secret
But that isn’t
Surprising
Now is it?

Confusing Life

Life is full
Of ups
And downs
Of all shapes
Sizes
And colors

Some
Have no problem
With analyzing
Their emotions
And thoughts
Or feelings

For others
All they see
Is a blur
Of color
And fuzzy shapes
Of all sizes

Everyone
In life
Experiences
Both
At some point
Or another

Some
Commit suicide
Because of
How clear
Or fuzzy
Things seems

I am Only Me

I
Am only me
So don’t expect
For me to change
Just because
You want me to

I have
My own way
Of doing things
And you
Have yours

Why can’t
You see that
I am
Very independant

I have
My own
Likes and dislikes

I have
My own brand
Of weirdness
And nerdiness
Fashion too

And I
Don’t need
Anyone
To tell me otherwise

I
Am proud
To be a nerd

I
Am proud
To be a Whovian

I
Am proud
To be weird

I love
My friends
As they are

I
Don’t need
To change

I
Am proud
To be me

And I
Am inspired
By life itself
Not
The people in it

Resliniant

People say
That sticks and stones
May break their bones
But words
Will never hurt them
But that
Isn’t always
A true statement

For me though
It is true

You can beat me up
And knock me down
But I
Will always
Get back up

But when
You hurt
The people I love
I will make a stand
And get you back

Because not everyone
Is as resilient
As others

But we all
Have a limit
As to how much
We can take

Breaks

We all
Need breaks
At some point

Breaks
From love
And hate

Breaks
From pain
And confusion

But the time
To get back to work
Will always come

As Long As You’re Here

As long as
You
Are here
There is no way
That I could be sad
Right?

Because
For as long
As you
Are by my side
I will never get hurt
Right?

Or will we
Drift away
Like everyone else?

Will I get hurt
And feel sad
With you here?

Where Have You Been?

Where
Have you been
All those times
I needed you?

Where
Have you been
When I was in pain?

I
Have always
Been there
For you

Why can’t you
Return
That simple favour?

Too Late

It’s too late
To take it back
All that you said

You could’ve
Said sorry
At the very least

But you didn’t
Now did you?

And now
It’s too late
To change anything

So don’t
Even try
To take it back

Because
It’s too late

Romans 12:9-21

Love
Must be without hypocrisy
Detest evil;
Cling to what is good

Show family affection
To one another
With brotherly love
Outdo
One another
In showing honor

Do not lack diligence;
Be fervent in spirit;
Serve the Lord

Rejoice in hope;
Be patient in affliction;
Be persistent in prayer

Share with the saints
In their needs;
Pursue hospitality

Bless those who persecute you,
Bless and do not curse

Rejoice with those who rejoice;
Weep with those who weep

Be in agreement
With one another
Do not be proud;
Instead,
Associate with the humble
Do not be wise in your own estimation

Do not repay anyone
Evil for evil
Try to do what is honorable
In everyone’s eyes

If possible,
On your part,
Live at peace with everyone

Friends,
Do not avenge yourselves;
Instead,
Leave room for His wrath
For it if written:
Vengeance belongs to Me;
I will repay,
Says the Lord

But
If your enemy is hungry,
Feed him
If he is thirsty,
Give him something to drink
For in so doing
You will be heaping fiery coals on his head

Do not be conquered by evil,
But conquer evil with good

Love Hurts Even Before It’s Really Real

Everyone says
That love hurts
And sometimes
That’s all they can say
When love hurts
Before
It’s even really real
To both

Most think
It only hurts
After a break-up
But some know
That it hurts
Before the thought
Of breaking-up
Could exsist

What to do
Oh
What to do
When love hurts
Before
It’s even real

Curl up somewhere
And sob?
Write about it
In secret?
Tell someone
Of your sorrows?
Listen to a sad song
Till you know it by heart?

There’s so many options
As what to do
When love hurts
Before
It’s even really real

But there is
One thing
That you should do
It isn’t even an option
Because you should never
Give up
On what you truly believe
What might become something
One day

But
Since that might
Take a while
To become real
Just being friends
Should be enough
For now

Why
Is the question
That all Christians are asked
By our atheist peers
We all have our own stories
And explanations
Here is mine:

"Nah, the issue is the risen Christ seen by 500 eyewitnesses. Imagine 500 in a court of law, each of them taking the stand reporting what they saw. If their stories lined up and made sense, the evidence would have to leave you convinced." - 'Jesus is Alive’; by Shai Linne

Makes sense,
Doesn’t it
Over a billion people
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