Worthwile Anxiety

December 30, 2012
By FrenchHornGirl GOLD, Shreveport, Louisiana
FrenchHornGirl GOLD, Shreveport, Louisiana
19 articles 77 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I'm to die for."


The palpitations
In my heart
Pulse to the rhythms
Of the jumbled songs
That course tauntingly
Through my terror-stricken mind.
Shaky hands
Give birth to beads
Of salt water --
Born on my skin
Like unshed tears
Of fear and trepidation.
Expanding lungs
Cannot hold enough air
To sustain the speed
Of my churning blood
And choppy breath…
…How will I survive?

Do it!
I curse the self-conscious indecision
That clouds my mind:
“Yes! No! Yes! No! NOW!”
And then…

With what seems to be
An effort requiring
The last of my attenuating strength
I breathe deep,
Pucker my lips,
Touch them to the
Cold metal before me…

…And everything disappears
Because
I am sharing music.


The author's comments:
Inspired by the performance anxiety that binds all musicians together, and my own experiences performing on the French horn.

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