The Fear of Judgment | Teen Ink

The Fear of Judgment

December 16, 2012
By Emilyco3 SILVER, Bridgewater, Massachusetts
Emilyco3 SILVER, Bridgewater, Massachusetts
6 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. True courage is in facing danger when you are afraid." -L. Frank Baum, "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz"


Go for a walk you say?
Why would I want to do that?
Face all those people judging me from within my mind?
Telling me that I can’t do it…

They stare at me…
Figures of my imagination,
Spewing curses and hateful things
As I try to make my way up the street…

They aren’t real you say?
How do you know?
Inner demons are always real to the person they are living in,
As they try to suck my soul from my gasping body…

It’s in all in my head,
I’ve just got to get over the hump, and soon I’ll be running!
Oh how I wish I could utter those words with confidence,
Alas, those demons hold me back…

Go for a walk you say?
Why would I want to do that?
The voices in my head are lulling me,
To a peaceful nonexistence, lying through their teeth…

You’ll go tomorrow they say,
Yes, go ahead and scarf down those extra chips,
It can’t hurt you now can it?
Yes… It can…


The author's comments:
I wrote this poem in tenth grade when I was going through a really hard time. My best friend just dumped me, and I was feeling really insecure about my body and myself. I had gained a lot of weight and had horrible acne during this time, and really hated myself. This poem was inspired because I was being told by someone that I could just go for a walk every day and I would lose the weight and feel better about myself. But, as you can see in this poem, it was a lot harder than it looked. Thankfully that dark period is over in my life, and while I am still self-conscious, I don't hate myself anymore.

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