I am from sleepless nights and
tossing and turning in my bed.
I am from different doctors
telling me, not suggesting,
what I should be doing to help myself.

I am from the glasses of water
and applesauce used to help me
take my ever changing medicine.
I am from brief periods of euphoria
quickly followed by sobbing uncontrollably.

I am from expending enough energy
to light up the house,
in only five minutes.
I’m from clinging to my Mom,
asking her over and over again
if I am safe.

I am from several doctor’s appointments per month
being reduced to only one.
I am from doctors finally suggesting ideas to help me,
not telling me what to do.
I am from sleeping the whole night,
and finally feeling calm.

I am from having a normal amount of energy,
and not crashing quite so hard.
I am from trial and error with my meds,
but also trial and success.
I am from all these things,
and even after all this,
I am still me.