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crystals of salt and rain

rain leaves cold wet
flicker green yellow red
street shoe breath let
jacket dark sigh dead

greet glance metal raise
stride smile wave naïve
fading drop still gaze
lone sadness hidden sieve

leaving strut smirk say
“safe shallow not guard”
puddle crossing drench away
hole deep hurt scarred

bright bitter flood feel
wind frost rain air
salt taste lump real
feelings burn sear bare

and years go by with no one there

***

Empty soda cans scattered over the papery grass;
the aluminum crunches softly as I stop towards the lone gravestone.
The December rain kisses the rock gently, while the last leaves of fall lie
wet and heavy on its surface.
I feel the cold on my skin like a shawl of seclusion, and remember
the days when the boys drove in bestial frenzy across the street, but
no one saw the lone figure standing with her sign raised, or cared
for her sanguine life force bleeding into the leaves –
there is paint on the inscription, false, screaming
and I, the solitary, touch my fingers to the virus
and the salt crystals glitter on the dying grass as I
slowly, gently, trace the words – the rain falls, ceaselessly –
watching them blur before my eyes:
green yellow red…



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Readride123 said...
May 6, 2013 at 11:20 pm
Beautiful poem. Very interesting.
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 20, 2013 at 4:05 pm
I love how you began. You used a method of listing that Walt Whitman uses in his poetry. Then, I love how you changed to a different structure in the end. Beautiful use of words. None of the words were plain or boring but sophisticated and eloquent. 
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:07 am
Amazing poem, also tells of what an amazing person you are, not just that you care about a crossing guard but enough to write a poem about it, and one ever so beautiful, both section though subtly different connect so well, great poem. The beginning compelled me to go on reading and when it ended I wanted more...
 
mattisonteeter said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:48 am
Brilliant imagery. I loved the chopiness and rythmn to your piece.  Thanks for sharing this!   -Mattison
 
laila_265 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 28, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Agreed! Love the rhythm. And the way you use language is so beautiful..."I feel the cold on my skin like a shawl of seclusion." Awesome job!!! 
 
RandomPoetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:39 pm
I agree alot with padoodallee on the poem. I got confused at first and thrown off by the choppy words and i after reading more i caught on to it. It is very unique indeed i wasnt expecting a poem like this would be about a crossing guard. A very pleasent and inspiring way to look at it.
 
Padoodallee said...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:57 pm
Very unique and original! I especially like the way you wrote the two different lives in two completely different styles and somehow they connect. The choppy words at the beginning really add emotion even though it isn't clear what all is happening. I was curious the whole way through and enjoyed reading it. Good Job!
 
so_joy said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:24 am
Beautfiully written! Great job! Please return the favor and look at my work :)
 
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