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I Know Why

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I know why the time goes by
Every second, every minute, every hour
I know why the time goes by
Memories reestablished every tick, every tock
Feelings embroidered into every dash
I know why the time goes by
Emotions awakened each centimeter
There is no reliving the past
The hopes of tomorrow keep me going
I know why the time goes by.



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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:34 pm
I really like this. If anything, you could incorporate your motif of time just a little bit more. Instead of centimeter, for example, you could say "second" or something of the sort. The repetitiveness, in addition, really makes the entire poem feel like a "pick-me-up" poem. I can tell that you wrote to get through the day, and I can certainly feel the emotion radiating off of the letters. Great job.
 
Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I love that! I would, however, suggest changing the part where you said,"Emotions awakened each centimeter". It does noy really go along with the flow of the poem. 
 
xxtennis13xx said...
Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I like this a lot! As I was reading it, I kept splitting it into short stanzas in my head, with the first line of each being "I know why time goes by". Syntax is powerful, and if you wanted to I'd say start messing around with you line/stanza breaks. It would put a lot of emphasis on each individual point. I'm not trying to offend you, because this is a great poem. It's just a suggestion! :)
 
kirstiecookie replied...
Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:10 pm
thank you for your input! I guess I never considered it, I don't know why I haven't... But thank you! I shall revise.
 
KnitsandPurls said...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm
This is a beautiful poem. Mechanically good, it also includes a strong emotional component. Wonderful work.
 
kirstiecookie replied...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Thank you so much! I appreciate that!
 
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