November 29, 2012
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What happened to you saying you'd always be here
the promises you made about not wanting to leave
you said this time was different
and I fall for it everytime dont I?
Im helplessly in love with least I think I am
Whenever you leave I feel lost
Like The biggest part of who I am is missing
I get back with you every time knowing you're going to leave
but as long as I get a little while with you Im good
You're like my addiction
like my own personal brand of heroin
Im an addict
and I need a fix
You're my world
But when you're gone my vision of everything is blinded
The illusion of love is shattered
and I try to let hatred sink in but I can never come to terms with hating you
I love the way you lie
and the way you do me wrong
the way Eminem describes perfectly our love and our problems
you watch me burn
time and time again
you're selfish
because you love it when I cry
you watch with a maniacal smile
when I get an ounce stronger
you come and break me back down
the lies I believe them coming from your sweet lips
kissing you is like poison
Loving you is torture
I'm your emotional slave
you're my owner
I'm the puppet
you're the puppeteer
My heart even guarded
is no use being up against your powers
You always have me running back
I cant escape
Its like I'm in a maze
running in circles
loving you is a sin
being with you is never boring
I'm always crying
or wishing or hoping
waiting whens the next time you shatter my heart
the tears flood out in streams
as I rip apart
you're addicting
you're twisted
and complicated
and mean
but what about that is so interesting to me?
I love you
You tell me you love me too
but even though I know you're lying its still believable
Those brown eyes of a monster
The heart breaker who just wont stop
You wanna be a player but all you are is a bench warmer
If I say I hate you
you and I both know I'm lying
but if I stay Ill always be crying and dyeing
Though I have not enough courage to leave and move on
Ill say goodbye just until you come back along
So the addiction can manifest itself again
and the lies and the brokenness settle in
until then Ill try and find my strength
knowing It left the day we got together
If I'm strong enough I can do this on my own
Without you in my life it should be easier to get along
Just remember I love you and I always will
but you hurt me too much and I hated the thrill.
So if you ever want to come back or think about texting me
do me a favor and go be someone else's burden
I'm done officially from now until for ever
I'm done playing games and being played with
I'm my own person I was before you came along
I'm strong and I can do this on my own.

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