You are not special.
You are like everyone else.
Is your favorite color blue?
Everyone else's is too.
But your favorite color is purple?
Gold star you're special hurray

Do you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Unless you're Joss Whedon, you are not special.
You watch Star Trek? Good for you.
If there are conventions for people like you
you must be one-in-a-million.

Do you paint?
So do toddlers.
Next.

Oh, you do theatre?
That's nice.
Theatre kid? Oh, you listen to showtunes on the radio?
Gold star. You tried.

Oh, so you write poetry?
You have feelings?
You must be a healthy human being.
How unique.

You're good at math? Huzzah!
You know who else is? A calculator.

So I heard you make fun of people
who think they're special.
You must be different. Gold
star.

You play sports?
Don't even.

Everyone is special because no one is special.
This is why America is great and so are you.