The Fear of a Feeling

October 29, 2012
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It's no wonder their relationship fell apart,
for it had only been a month.

She is afraid of a four-letter-word: L-O-V-E.

They had been thriving. Happy.
Yet, she was unsure.

Oh, so, very unsure.

They drifted apart,
became distant,
and it was all her fault.

All her fault for having a fear of L-O-V-E.

Now, she thinks; is she really afraid of a four-letter-word?
No, she must be afraid of the meaning of the word.

L-O-V-E: an intense feeling of deep affection.

A feeling.

Therefore, she corrects herself:
She is afraid of the feeling of L-O-V-E.

It takes her
one year,
two months,
twenty days,
and six hours
to realize this.

But why should she be scared,
if she doesn't know what L-O-V-E feels like?

She had felt insecure and secure,
unsure and sure.

But now she feels...
Guilty.

It is the guilt she feels
from realizing
what had happened to them.

What she had done
to them.

And it was all because
of a fear of a feeling:
L-O-V-E.

And it's not until the end
of the first draft that
she finally understands:

She is afraid of falling in love.





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