Once upon a drizzly day, upon my comfy couch I lay
Dazed, delirious and dreading it all
Wrapped in an old and ratty quilt, wondering what to do
Regretting the guilt, the guilt of the call
Slowly tapping, tapping in the numbers to make the call
Listening, waiting, there is no answer, then faintly hearing scratching from the hall

As I slowly lift my head, my stomach is filled with dread
I unwrap myself and let the quilt fall
My feet finally fall to the floor, lifting myself to standing
I head straight for the door, I am feeling rather tall
I am shuffling, shuffling along, still feeling rather tall,
“Is the scratching noise really coming from the hall?”

I finally make it to the door, but all I hear is the creaking of the floor
Opening the door and what do I see? A Blue Jay perched on Zeus next to the wall
Is the blasted blue bird dead? I call out, "Hello?"
Scratching, scratching my head wondering what to think of it all
The Blue Jay yells, “Bazinga!” I reply, “Is that all?”
I ask the Blue Jay “Why are you in my hall?”

I open the window to shoo it away, it doesn’t budge it, chooses to stay,
“Get out! Get out! What do I do it’s almost nightfall?”
“Bazinga!” replied the bird. “I’m getting annoyed at this situation!” I yell,
“This is absolutely absurd! This bird is going to be my downfall.”
Stomping, stomping my feet, this bird is going to be my downfall
I can’t get the blasted bullheaded Blue Jay out of my hall

I leave the room fearing the worst; I’m going to have another outburst
I can’t believe I’m having so much trouble with a creature so small
I swiftly and silently searched my room and have found my gun
The bird will now surely meet his doom; I head to the hall to end it all
“Kaboom! Kaboom!” I have ended it all
The Blue Jay is no longer by the wall but splattered all over my hall