When your mother tried to make you eat those brussel sprouts
and you sat there and refused,
she told you they were good for you.
You were wrong not to believe her,
because we all know that vegetables aren’t really healthy, they don’t make you
strong or smart. The reason that they are good is that they train you to
swallow what you don’t want to, even
when you know it’s bad. That’s something you have to do when
you grow up.

And that proves
your mommy really thought they were good, because
she knew that when daddy wanted her to swallow
something she didn’t like, she
had to do it anyway
or get grounded. That’s why she yelled at you when you
didn’t eat them, because she knew it would be exactly the same. You’re just like her,
and your husband is just like daddy, so
when he he wants you to swallow something
that you don’t, be a
good girl, and eat your vegetables