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Monster

When I was six they lived in the dark
At night they were under my bed.
I had to bury myself in pillows and covers
Before I could lay down my head.
I tried hard not to breathe so loud,
I was afraid of waking them up.
Just laying there as still as I could,
Trying not to think too much.

When I was twelve there were no more creatures
That came out in the night.
They were replaced with all these nightmares
That I have grown to fight.
There are scary things that I can hear and see,
But I know that they're not real.
I know I'm safe deep in my sleep
But it’s the way those nightmares make me feel.

Growing up with screaming voices
Swirling through my ears.
No matter how much I begged them to stop,
I couldn’t help but hear.
Then that night there was the fire
That decided to take away my friend.
But I was much too young to understand;
I couldn’t comprehend.

I just stood there staring while
The world went on without me.
Four more years passed
Before I even knew they were gone.
I know that I'm still standing,
Still throwing out that fake smile,
But I don’t know how much more I can take;
I know I'm not that strong.
Thinking back on all those memories
And experiencing all that pain,
Its no wonder I ended up like this,
No question that I'm insane.

"Listen to my words, your not yet crazy,
Nor are you yet insane.
But I can promise you a little happiness
If your willing to play my game.
Just take a quick stroll with me;
It's all going to be okay.
I can make all of your suffering disappear
And help you find the strength to fly away."

"I’ve been watching you for quite a while now,
I've seen you pace all around your room,
Screaming, crying, and hurting yourself
Just imagine how it would feel
To not feel anything but the moon."

"Now I know what people have been saying
About spending sweet time with me.
But they don't know how much fun I am,
They don’t know anything.
Just one toke, and if you don’t like it,
You can turn around and go.
But if you happen to fall in love with me
I can teach you everything I know."

Maybe just this once I’ll take a walk with Her.
I never even had anything
So what is there to lose?
But that one toke was all it took;
And now I'm in Her grasp.
I should've ran away,
But She's something I can't refuse.
I’ve never had a feeling that felt this way before.
Still climbing high after that fifth tasty hit.
I'll take that advice my father once gave me
And I’m never going to quit.

"Did I mention that if you stay with me
You'll lose everything you have?
But the people in your life weren't even that great,
It’s not going to be that bad.
Besides, now you’ve got me.
And we can be best of friends.
Ill always be right here waiting,
And until you find a way out,
Our fun never has to end."

For a while I let her take me,
I let her guide me hand in hand.
But it wasn’t until I was so far gone
That I could finally understand.
Every second that I spent with Her
I put another piece of me on a shelf.
But something still alive inside me
Told me to go look at myself.

I didn’t know who that was.
It was a reflection that I didn’t recognize.
Who is that trembling girl?
What could she have possibly encountered
That had stolen all the hope from her eyes?
It was right then that it hit,
Something that my own hopeless eyes
Couldn’t seem to see.
That She is a Monster,
And I am just as much Her, as She is me.

A years gone by without once seeing Her
But my mind has been nothing but noise.
So much temptation to crawl back in Her arms
And fall asleep listening to Her manipulating voice.
It’s so damn easy to fall and stay down,
But I hope I’ll be just fine.
See, once you meet the Monster, even just once,
She will constantly call to you from the back of your mind.

When I was six I was afraid
Of make-believe creatures
That I couldn’t see.

When I turned twelve I had nightmares
Of voices that scared me terribly.

But I never would’ve thought
This is what my biggest fear would be;
A Monster that I created,
And It’s living inside of me.



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