October 4, 2012
I lay there,
Watching. Unable to respond.
Frightened,
By the very fact that I was in a hospital bed.
Even more so that
I was slipping away.
Like a clock that has just
Stopped.

A gentle beep beep beep in my ear,
Now turning to a slow, agonizing
Beep
Beep
Beep
Confused. Scared.
Lost.

My emotions were invisible.
A blank face, gazing at a worried mother.
My heart dropped.
Internally, a train wreck.
Crying,
The tears, shy, hiding behind my eyes.
My breathing getting slower,
And slower.

Becoming a stranger to my own self,
I thought.
Is this how it ends?
For a moment
I don’t even remember breathing

My mom’s voice, gently calling me back.
“Where are you going?”, “Don’t leave us”.
“Stay strong”.

Naive to my surroundings,
I thought for sure
I was put out of my misery.
Gone.