October 7, 2012
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From the moment I first spoke to you, my heart has known you are something special: it showed me in the way it flipped and sputtered. Every conversation, though few and far between, sent a jolt through my chest. Though I knew little about you I simply could not shake the undeniable knowledge that you possessed a beauty I had never encountered —in body and in mind. I held on to the foolish fantasy that maybe one day you’d be mine. I watched you love and be loved, watched you with other, and I myself fell in love (or maybe, now that I think about it, desperation). All the wile my heart held onto you. I did my best to ignore the feeling, and found myself trapped in that classic Beauty and the Beast romance: but without the happy ending. I sometimes came to you: broken and battered, hoping for a simple distraction and the smile you so easily gave to me.
That night I first met you, my heart was alight with electricity and my stomach was full of restless butterflies. When you walked into that dark venue, I abandoned any hope of appearing cool, calm, or collected and instead immediately sprung at you for a hug. You may have thought I pulled away so quickly from disinterest, but in reality the uproar of emotion when your skin met mine was all to great for my fragile heart to handle.
Through the rest of the night I was giddy and nervous: saying too much all at once or nothing at all. I’ll always treasure those conversations, those moments I realized the sheer intensity of all my buried feelings. Needless to say, you left yet another impression on me, just as strong as the first.
Watching you leave that night was harder than is should have been. I was scared that we would fall back into out familiar pattern of rare talks and other people. I quietly swore not to let it happen and spent the car ride home not gushing about the show but in uncharacteristic silence; thinking of the jolt of electricity when our bodies touched and ?the light in your smile.

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