Oh the Grendel in me hides himself deep in my mentality
Unaccepted
Longing to exist with them
Overwhelmed with envy, jealousy, and vile thoughts toward them
“They don’t care…”
“They’re just a bunch of mindless losers”
But he kills me slowly, not them
“This is not kindergarten so grow up” I tell myself
“You’re better than them, they don’t need you”
I try to build my self-esteem
Yet the Grendel inside me argues:
“You’re worthless”
“There is nothing about you that is special”
“You are nobody without them”
“Don’t lie to yourself because you are nothing”
Hot tear well up from listening to this continuous controversy
Anger builds up
Like bricks, one on the other
Plastered with hatred
Grendel, the monster inside me fills my mind, and kills me slowly