I Told Another Lie Today

September 25, 2012
By Anonymous

I told another lie today
Like every other day I fight to say
I'm doing just fine and getting by
Holding back tears, too strong to cry
In reality, I'm weaker than that
The skin and bones is much too fat
The sleep I do without because my body can't
I roll over to cry, but turn on the lamp
Write away every fear that I let run
Stay locked inside to avoid the judgement of the sun
Because out there my thighs touch close
And although they say I'm thinner than most
I'm repulsed and unhappy, I'm shaken
I can't get back all this disorder has taken
Always too much skin stretched across my bones
Self-degrading whispers argue when I'm alone
Not allowed a scale to measure
Now that fasting has become my guilty pleasure
Nobody believes that I'm healthy and fine
Because my hairs falling out and has lost it's shine
And the fat I pinch against my hips
Keep my favorite meal from meeting my lips
I don't want help, sometimes just a hug
But I deny and avoid confrontation from those I love
Because Ana's holding me so tight
She's all I need in day and night
She never leaves my side, in sickness and in health
The perfect couple, the biggest love I've ever felt
And I'm not ready to let her go
Because I need her more than anyone knows
Even though her stability sways with the breeze
When I grow weak and fall to my knees

The author's comments:
Ana is anorexia, for those unaware. Ana is my best friend. We have a love hate relationship.

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