When I think of the word father, I think of the person who walked out on a woman with three children and no one else to help her but a 10 year old son who was the oldest and a five year old son and a two year old daughter. But yet I for some reason I have tried to give him another chance, but I can’t stop thinking about how my whole life I’ve always wondered who was going to walk me down the aisle when I got married, who would give whatever boy that looked at me a “I’ll kill you in a second if you even touch my daughter” glare…I’ve always wondered…who? Who would do that for me or tell me that my skirt was too short even if was down to my ankles or the person that would say that if I went to the beach to put on a turtleneck that would choke me like crazy. The most protective person over me that you would ever meet…the person that if you broke his little girls heart in half you’d get broken in half. I’ve always wondered if I had that person, would I be the same way? Would I be a person that is secure with my feelings or a girl that is afraid to speak her mind so she has to write about them? A person that has no idea how to trust others eventhough some of those people have told them their deepest, darkest secrets that no one else knows except for you and that person is the person that I am supposed to be or is this some unrealistic person that doesn’t exist?
September 20, 2012