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Broken Back Broken Heart
September 15, 2012
Broken back black eyes
Heart ache no surprise
Days end
No friends
Broken heart
Torn apart
Fake smile
That'll stay a while
Loved girl
She knows it’s her world
lookin' at her subjects
Livin' life with no regrets.
Broken back
Broken heart
So small things
To tear apart
My life
Killed strife
Happy lives
Lovely eyes
It’s different now
I know how
To be me now..
© Hilary R., Woodland Hills, CA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
Intrepidnzx GOLD said...
on Sep. 22 2012 at 6:14 pm
it is supposed to mean that at first i tried to be me and no one liked it then i tried to be popular then everyone besides me liked it... but i decided to go back to me and i knwo how to be okay with that now...
DeleteMe said...
on Sep. 19 2012 at 3:09 am
Interesting. I like the rhyme scheme, but I'm not crazy about the poem as a whole. I feel like the words and their meanings don't flow well together, like you just smacked down a paper onto a table, grabbed a pencil, and said, "I'm gonna rhyme some sad words and some happy words and it's gonna seem deep and melodramatic!" but then it kinda fell flat. Don't take that personally or too seriously. I honestly like the concept of this poem, I think it has promise, and I like where you're going with your style as a poet, but I think it needs some work. Otherwise, you did a pretty good job. I'd say 3/5. :)
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