If Only

By , pine river, WI
Boom.
The shrieking sound of the tires skidding down the road rang in my ears.
Time seemed to stand still as I gazed into the eyes of my best friend, knowing that was the last time I would ever see him.
I grasped his had somehow believing is we held on to each other it all would stop.
The peacefulness was quickly interrupted.
Crash.
His car collided with a pole of sorts.
3. 2. 1.
Blackout.
And then, as quickly as the light had disappeared from my eyes it came back.
I felt my feet rise up off the ground, my body as light as a feather.
I waved goodbye to the world I once knew as I floated up, up, up high into the clouds.
As I stepped through the golden gate I felt at home.
Content.
Safe.
Secure.
But then my eyes drifted to a crack in heaven’s floor.
I see my sister down glass after glass of brandy trying desperately to numb the pain.
I watch a tear cascade down my mother’s tired face as she holds her new baby boy, seeing my face on his.
I cringe as I hear my little brothers say “Daddy, when is Jacob coming home?”
A tear escapes from my eye as I witness my girlfriend of two years clutching the last picture we took together, rocking back and forth with her arms wrapped around her knees-her whole body shaking.
If only I had gotten to kiss her one last time.
If only I had told my mom how much I appreciated her and all she’s done for me.
If only I could toss a football with my brothers again.
If only I could hug my sister and tell her how proud I am of her and how much I truly love her.
If only I could see all of their faces one last time.
If only.





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