It was me, and it still is

September 11, 2012
By Minas BRONZE, Cluj, Other
Minas BRONZE, Cluj, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

When I say you don’t know,
Continue to play the song
When I say stop, you are too weak
Embarrass me
And play more

When I tell I cant go out with you
Call me till I agree
When I say I won't kiss you
Give me your jacket
And stay near

Stay.
I prey for you.
Crying, but trying to laugh
You don’t want to see that part of me.
Stay here.
Let me laugh at you.
Reply rapidly and shush me up.
Then laugh at me.
Don’t scare me anymore.
Let me be.

Save me.
And listen to the songs
The songs
Of you
And
Me.
Even if my mind didn’t realize it before
You sent a message to me
Long time before
That you were about to leave me
Through all the songs
You made me listen to
Sharing the music while looking at the road.

I’m sorry, that
I still don’t let you go.
But they say…
Yes, they say,
Sometime, I will have to say goodbye.
I’m missing you
In every song I hear
Every tear I let
Every positive thought I make
Every time my eyes graze at the sky
I’m thinking of …
Memories.

Bitter, hard, but tasty memories, which I want to chew for the rest of my life, and let them stay in me. Never let me go.

And as I kissed you,
Coldness fulfilled me.
And I told her
:I kissed him, mother!
And she answered in a way
Which cannot be described as comforting or
Contrary
:Dear, he finally got your kiss.
Yes.

I love you.
Neither hundred things I do for you
will be enough to calm me.
Calm me, so I know you are satisfied.
Because it wasn’t the kiss I wanted to give you.
It was me, and
It still is.


The author's comments:
I wrote this song week after my very close friend had an car accident and couldn't survive it. I knew him for only 6 months, but we always went out, and it didn't matter if we are with friends or alone.
He was in love with me.
But I never considered him something more then a friend.

He liked to play guitar, he learned how to play all by himself, but I was always laughing at him when he was playing...
He always called me out, every day..but most of times I had stupid excuses and we didn't go out.
He always gave me his jacket when I was feeling cold, but I always wanted another boy to give me his jacket. But most of the times you could see me in the jacket of my friend that is not with me anymore.
I told him that I believe in The Secret-positivity and that everything can be solved by thinking positive..he followed my opinion about that.
Our favorite bend was The Hurts,and he was the one who was showing me their songs. and now, when I listen to the lyrics of those songs, It's like he tried to tell me before, that he is going...
At the end I want to tell you, that the first time I kissed him was at his funeral.
I miss him, hope he doesn't mind that I'm shearing this with you.
Thanks for reading my poem.

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