I Am Me

September 3, 2012
By P.B.N.J. BRONZE, Amherst, New Hampshire
P.B.N.J. BRONZE, Amherst, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What lies before and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us"

I can see through you
Do you see me?
If not, what else should I
Force myself to be
To allow that me
My being
My life
My love
My fashion
My passion
Can suit you in a way that attracts you to me

Too many times I’ve walked past you
But too fast to
Try to ask you
“Do you like me?”
But then what defines “like”?

To like: to enjoy or favor
To like: Maybe a favorite ice cream flavor
To like: To become obsessed
Or possessed
To become a pest to the desire for
Incest between us
And the rest of the world can burn because
As far as I’m concerned
The best feeling is to put to rest this awful yearning that I have for you

I know you know I’m there
But would it be so much as to return a stare
To me
So that I know if you actually care for me
So that I can momentarily escape the fact
That I’m fat
And it’s crap
That one second of you
Is a heart attack
But I can’t seem to reconcile
Anymore of myself
To seem to you
Anymore than vile
Just look at me and smile

I need you

Your perfect

What is your favorite color?
It must’ve been red
When you held down my head
To the desk
As you clawed your hand
Deep into my chest; now profusely bleeding
Tore through all my flesh
Like some cheap nylon mesh
And tore out my heart
Still beating

Or is it Blue?
Or Orange?
Or Purple?
Or Yellow?
Or polka dot colored?
Or any possible other?!
But I can assure you if you tear off my skin
For you my flesh is multicolored!

But on the outside is me
Just plain me
At least that is the way it appears
To me
To be perceived

And that is a fact
That I cannot change
The fact that some may find me strange
Or deranged
Mentally disarranged
Or more words than I can try to compile in my brain

But this is me
And as you can see
I can’t change
For anybody

So you can be you
And make judgments of me
And say that I
Am a nobody
That I
Am a somebody
That I
Am a picture of idiocy
But from all I perceive,

The author's comments:
I wrote this one day after school. I had succumbed to the jurisdiction of my emotional weight. And i spent a very angry and emotional hour writing this in my room. My hope is that for anyone who reads this, and/or who feels the same way i do, will be inspired to be who they are and live by there own identities and not try to alter themselves to other peoples' standards.

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