I Can't Tell You.

September 2, 2012
When I opened my eyes,

And you weren't there,

I realized that...

I don't want to be away from you anymore.

I know that "sorry"

Is just another word

That doesn't mean s*** anymore...

But I really don't know what else to say.

I've lost the words I wanted to say.

I can't say that

I can't take being without you.

That when you're gone,

My veins ache.

That my heart stops

Because my blood won't flow

Until I hear from you.

I can't tell you

That my lungs won't breathe

Until they know that the scent of you

Will be the first thing that fills them.

I can't tell you

That my tears have your name.

Because I cry out for your heart,

And your love never hears.

I can't tell you

That the side of the bed you slept on,

Is still unmade.

Because even after that one time you came over for support,

I couldn't bring myself

To touch the same thing you did.

Even my heart.

Its still messy,

But I still hope that you'll come back

And make it up one day.

I can't tell you that I love you.

Because those three words have hurt you

More that I care to remember.

And even if it hurts me to keep it in,

I'll wait for the day

Those words mean as much to you again

As they do to me.

I can't tell you

That I'm weak.

And a coward.

And pathetic.

Because I'd be too afraid that you'll respond with,

"I know."

I can't tell you

That my heart won't breathe

And my lungs won't beat

And I'm mixing up my words

Because my knees get weak

When I see you.

I can't tell you that I love you.

But even though this is not what you wanted to hear,

I can tell you that I'm sorry I may never be able to tell you

What I want to.

I love you.

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