The Price to Stand Here Forever

August 29, 2012
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Sometimes I just want to stand here.
I just want to stand here and watch as the world moves on
I don’t want to walk
I don’t want to talk
I don’t want to do anything
I just want to be left alone
Away from homework
From classes
From worries
And above all away from being stared at for my differences

I just want to feel the wind in my hair
To watch as the clouds move at different speeds, creating anything you can imagine
To smell the scent that waifs off the falling cherry blossoms
To listen to the vibrations, strung by the vocal chords of the songbird, and hear its melancholy sound
I just want to be somewhere
Somewhere where the soil is so rich you can taste I in the pure spring air
I just want to stand in that park were we all play.
The park that holds so many fond memories
I want to stand there forever, as still as a statue, forever watching over this park that I love

But if I did that, when you would all come, every Wednesday and Thursday, I would weep.
I would weep because I wouldn’t be able to join you.
I wouldn’t be able to throw the Frisbee
Or play truth, dare, or falsehood
Or scowl as you play whoosh
I would never claim the blue ranger disc
Or the voodoo disc with the kali on it
Or the radioactive disc that let you kill whoever you touched
Or that green disc that is nothing but a disc
I would never get to pretend to be a vampire, Hiding from the sunlight
We would never get to talk about our favorite web comics
And you would never explain the meanings of American jokes I just don’t get
I would never confuse you with Japanese phrases that you can’t understand
It would never be us three during that last month, the month no one shows up but us.

And with the loss of the ability to perform these actions that I love so much, I would loose my meaning to life.
And if my meaning to life is lost then so is my ability to enjoy these little things.
I would lose my love of the wind, and the clouds, and the blossoms, and the birds.
I would lose my love of the intricate bass of my favorite song
I would lose my love of sinking my feet into that one muddy spot in the middle of the field.
I would lose my love of you
My love of your hair that glows in the suns rays
My love of your voice as it reads a poem
But above all I think I would miss your smile

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