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Rain Dancers

Rain laced with lightning
Leaps between trees,
Twirling to the ground
Where it dances beside puddles
And overflowing streams.
Thunder keeps a beat
For the cheerful dancers,
Rain drops breaking into couples
For a lively waltz,
Their misty skirts swish over the
Slick forest floor,
Crystal leaves reflecting
The silver-gray sky.
Ever thrilled to join the party,
Wind offers up it's own music,
Vibrating branches
Like the strings of a violin,
Slowing until only
A few sparse droplets are left
To wander off the dance floor.



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This article has 17 comments. Post your own!

SecretFlameThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:52 pm:
This is absolutely fantastic! The imagery throughout the poem is captivating.The excitement and action rises and falls throughout the poem just like a story. I especially love the last two lines :) Your word choice is amazing, you have a gift :) This is one of the pieces where it could be about anything and you'd still read it because of how elegantly written it was. You made rainfalling beautiful and exciting with your descriptions. The picture you painted with your words was extraordinary.... (more »)
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:11 pm :
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much that means to me! :DDD
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:13 pm:
The personification is at its best here. Similes, meetaphors, imagery—you've instilled this poem with all of these qualities. Beautiful, especially the waltzing part.
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:20 pm :
Thank you! I really appreciate your feedback! :D
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:48 pm:
All the adjectives and metaphors are reallt a job well done. It paints a beautiful picture, rain is described ever so beautifully...
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:55 pm :
Thank you! :D
 
SaphiraBrightscales replied...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:46 am :
You're Welcome!
 
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SteelersJdog said...
Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:09 pm:
Wow, you literally painted a picture in my head. The imagery is fantastic! You have a gift for combining words to create a mood. Very nice job, 5/5
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm :
Thanks!         
 
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3dancer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:54 pm:
I love how you described the rain to dancers! I'm a dancer so I really liked this poem. The imagery is excellent! :)
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm :
Thanks! :) Dancing is beautiful, and rain always puts me in a dancy mood.
 
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KnitsandPurls said...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:42 pm:
There are a million poems about rain out there, but none quite like this. Like jetta.bug said, it is full of metaphors AND YET one never forgets what the topic of the poem truly is. On a constructive note, some more punctuation would improve the poem overall. I don't have anything else.  This poem was a joy to read.  
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm :
Thank you. :)
 
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jetta.bugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:33 pm:
Wonderfully constructed! This is so beautiful. It's got a TON of metaphors and is just so well-thought out. Fantastic. I'm surprised this isn't in the magazine by now.
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm :
Thank you! That means so much to me! :D
 
Anna141This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 15, 2012 at 7:23 am :
I really like this poem, I like the way you tell a story so well about the rain drops. You are very good at personification, keep writing!
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm :
Aww thanks :3
 
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